My Year of Hopefulness - Journeys We Don't Plan

I recently saw the movie, Up!, an animated feature about Mr. Fredrickson, a grumpy old man remarkably similar in appearance and demeanor to Mr. Cunningham from Happy Days. All their lives, he and his wife dreamed of an adventure to South America, and she passed away before they had the chance to go. Wanting to fulfill the dream to honor her, he uses the asset of being a balloon salesman to sail south of the border, house in tow. That’s the adventure he planned.

He didn’t count on one of his neighbors being on the deck of his house when it took off. He didn’t think that he’d ever meet a rare bird named Kevin who would need his help so desperately or his greatest idol who would turn out to lack integrity. This was the part of the adventure he never imagined. Along the way, he lets goes of old heartaches and material possessions, makes new friends, and discovers how much courage his old soul can muster. These are the parts of the adventure that make his trip unforgettable.

My Christmas trip was a bit like Mr. Fredrickson’s. I had planned to stay home to study and write for the week between Christmas and the New Year; I hadn’t planned on going to Alabama at all. The opportunity presented itself, and I took it. On the banks of the Tennessee River in a small town named Tuscumbia, I learned how the term “Southern hospitality” came to be.

My brother-in-law’s family welcomed me with open arms, literally. His mom, Trish, had an extra chair at the table, an extra room where I could sleep and study, and extra gifts under the tree just for me. She taught me to make chicken and dressing, proved that any food can be whipped into a delicious casserole, and exhibited all of the love and graciousness that you’d expect from a woman whose greatest joy is her family. I learned about their complex family history, and was included in their family photos. In truth, an outsider looking in might never know that I was a guest who’d never spent a Christmas with that family. They took every opportunity to make me one of them.

Having grown up in small town, I appreciate the warm, cozy feeling of having memories in every nook and cranny. Kyle, my brother-in-law, showed me where he went to high school, where all his childhood friends lived and hung out as teenagers, and where his dad’s artwork (and therefore his spirit) still exists even though he’s no longer with us. I saw their old family photos and then understood the resemblance my niece, Lorelei, has to that side of the family. So much of their history and culture exists in their food and the memories of togetherness that their meals invoke, and I got to be a part of it. It was easy to see why Tuscumbia is a special kind of place.

On the long drive back to Florida, I thought of Kyle’s family a lot: how lucky I feel to have met them all and how much I appreciated being able to spend a holiday with them. I’ve always found that the experiences I love most in my life are the ones I don’t plan for – the job that came my way quite by accident, the friend I never planned to meet, the spur-of-the-moment trip that I never imagined I’d take. My trip to Alabama showed me how much joy we can find in the unexpected and unplanned, and I’d like to figure out how to make that kind of joy and the circumstances that create it a little more common in my life in 2010.

My Year of Hopefulness - Think of Today

"I never think of the future. It comes soon enough." ~ Albert Einstein

December 26th, forever relegated to its place as 'the day after Christmas'. A lot of people sleep in; many are on vacation; it begins the long, slow slide into the new year. A day of "lull", and well-deserved after the shopping, eating, visiting frenzy induced by December 25th.

Given that Albert Einstein was one of the greatest visionaries to ever live, I'm not sure that his quote above is entirely truthful. He actually thought about the future quite a bit, particularly when it came to his work on General Relativity and the Manhattan Project. What I think he was doing was trying to remind us that if we focus too much on the future we lose sight of the opportunities right in front of us today.

It would be easy and quite understandable to let this week float on by as just the week between Christmas and New Year's. It may even cause some of us to build up some nervousness about the impending new year, or we could just look at 2009 as a lame duck year, almost finished and therefore not worth any more effort. With some creativity, we can still get our much-needed rest and make this week a happy and productive one.

If I learned anything in 2009 it is that our days, all of them, are terrible things to waste. This week I'll curl up on that comfy couch and reach for that magazine or book that's been waiting for me. I can relax and spend time with my family and friends without feeling rushed. I can get my plans in order when it comes to my impending GRE. I'll take time out for yoga every day as preparation for my yoga teacher training class that starts in February. Whoever said that productivity and relaxation had to be mutually exclusive activities?

My Year of Hopefulness - Balancing Writing and Living in Alabama

Writing has a funny little dichotomy: it is a mostly solitary activity whose content is greatly influenced by social interaction. That balance between living life and writing about it can be a tricky one to manage, particularly if you write on a part-time basis while working at another full-time job. And yet, that balance is critical to creating a body of writing that is poignant and relevant. Without the social interaction piece, writing becomes flat and dull.

This week I'm in Florida with my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. They are packing up on Christmas afternoon to head to Alabama to see his family and I was planning to stay here at their home to study for the GRE and to write. Yesterday at lunch, we started talking about the possibility of me going to Alabama along with them. As it turns out, that ride will give me a lot of time to study and I'll have my own toasty bedroom to write and learn GRE vocabulary words until my heart's content.

At first, I immediately thought that there is just no way I can go to Alabama. I have a to-do list that needs doin'. And it's so much time in the car, and I'm already traveling to Fort Lauderdale to celebrate the New Year with friends. I mean, I need my rest!

And then I thought, well, what exactly is it that I'm resting up for? Should I stay home alone with my GRE book and my computer, or would it be better to be with people I love and get all of my work done, too? With that thought, what other choice was there? Staying home alone just felt like a horribly empty option, especially at this time of year. All I could think of was an image of the Grinch high up in his home, alone for the holidays. Life was a lot sweeter when he came down off his mountain, and I bet his writing was better, too.

For me, the holidays are about family and friends and dashing here and there and loving it. My writing is about that, too. So my books, my laptop, and my family are hitting the road to Sweet Home Alabama in about 24 hours to see what we can find. If nothing else, it's got to make for some interesting writing and fun holiday memories.

My Year of Hopefulness - I'm Rich

"Wealth consists not in having great possessions but in having few wants." ~ Esther de Waal, author of Seeking God: The Way of St. Benedict

Trish Scott, one of the readers of this blog (and a wonderful blogger herself), recently left a comment that got me thinking and connecting some disparate dots that have been showing up in my life. She asked me to consider how I might feel about leaving empty moments empty for a little while. Especially during this time of year, there is an urge and a propensity to fill up everything to the brim: stockings, large holiday dinner plates, space under the tree, our schedules, and the list goes on. Hurry hurry hurry - Christmas is only x number of days away and you're in your house missing out on all the cheer outside of your door. No wonder we all settle down for a long winter's nap on December 26th. We're exhausted! So what if we could just sit, for a moment, and be glad to feel a little empty? What would that do for us?

This Christmas I didn't make a wish list. For the first time ever I realized I am rich because there isn't anything I need that I don't already have. I'm now exactly where I always wanted to be in my financial life. I don't want for anything; I feel steady and secure financially, despite that the economy is in constant turmoil. With this thought, I felt a tidal wave of gratitude. By Esther de Waal's beautiful definition of wealth, I am rich. I sat for a moment today and took that feeling in. After so many years of working so hard, wanting so much to not worry about money, I realized I had arrived at my destination. Today, I got there. My heart started humming.

And then I took a look at my busy December. I didn't get to see everyone I wanted to see. I didn't get to every outing I was invited to, nor every holiday gathering. I had to take some time for myself, and to do some selfless volunteer work which is so needed at this time of year. So I missed out on some experiences. And yet, I feel so extraordinarily lucky that I have so many incredible people in my life to spend my time with, that I have so many projects that I am happy to spend my time on, that I have places to be where I am needed and wanted. I sat for a moment today and took that feeling in. About this time 7 years ago, I decided to leave my job to settle in one place and start to build a life, a community where I felt like I belonged. Today, I realized I had gotten exactly that after so many years of building. What an amazing feat! My heart began to sing.

So now we wait indoors for the Blizzard of 2009 to arrive any minute. We're supposed to be snowed in with 12 inches of gorgeous, puffy, white snowflakes. Let it be. Snow me in, world. Make me sit down and reflect on the many, many blessings I have in my life. Some of them were hard won, and others showed up like little miracles from thin air. For all of them I am thankful. So here I'll sit for a bit today, sip some tea, listen to Christmas carols, light a candle that smells like cinnamon, and be glad to just be right here, right now, pinching myself to make sure that this rich and magical life I lead is real.

My Year of Hopefulness - Sense of Wonder

This morning as I flipped through the latest copy of Fast Company on my way to work, I came across a short article featuring Nicole Lazzaro, a passionate game developer and the designer of Tilt, the first iPhone accelerometer game. She talked about the phenomenon of mobile gaming as having "a lot of curiosity, wonder, and surprise, which is very powerful because wonder is a hard emotion for adults to feel." That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I then walked into a Starbucks and saw a sign by the cream and sugar area that read something akin to "I wish that adults could dream like children." Coincidence, or is the world giving me something to seriously think about?

Have we let the world make us so bitter that we lost our sense of wonder? If ever there was a time of year that we could, should, and must look around us in wonder, it's Christmas time, a season of dreams, a season that is grounded in faith and belief, even in things that seem impossible. It is a time of miracles. Christmas always arrives just in time to rekindle my spirits and give me fresh hopes and dreams for the new year. Christmas keeps me going.

There are a few traditions I have, things I do that restore my sense of wonder every Christmas. I wanted to share them with you in case you need a bit more dreaming in your life. I'd love to hear yours, too!

1.) I always take a trip down to Rockefeller Center to see the tree. I like to go very late at night or very early in the morning when it's dark out and there aren't many people around. I stare at those lights until they go a little fuzzy and there's a glow across the whole plaza. And then I soak up as much of that glow as possible and carry it with me wherever I go.

2.) When I first moved to New York 11 years ago, I wanted to figure out how to get a job dressing windows at Bergdorf Goodman. Maybe I've seen the movie Mannequin way too many times. There is something so magical about those windows. I'm always amazed that they can top themselves year over year. In 2010, I'm going to find a way to do something for one of those windows. I don't care if it just means tearing up tiny bits of paper that a collage artist uses to make something magnificent - I just want to see the process of how it all comes together!

3.) I walk up to St. John the Divine and light a Christmas candle. I spend some time in the Cathedral mulling over the year that's almost behind me and considering what I'd like to do in the year ahead. I ask God for some help and guidance, and I thank him for continuing to show up in my life in mysterious and surprising ways.

4.) A visit to Balducci's is one of the single greatest memories from my childhood. I would wonder around the store with my sister, Weez, and brother, Joey, and we would take in all of those delicious scents. At Christmas time, the store reminds me of the wonderful heritage I come from.

5.) I make my end-of-year charitable donations: money, clothing, and food items. This simple act reminds me how lucky I am, and how much I can help others.

6.) Prime time TV is bursting with Christmas specials in December. I try to catch The Grinch and Charlie Brown's Christmas at the very least while sipping hot cocoa and remembering how my family used to gather around the TV to watch those very same shows so many years ago. They hold special memories for me.

7.) Christmas concerts of all kinds are happening all over the city this month - I love to stop in to a few of them, especially if it's permissible to sing along! You can also find me spending some amount of time each day in December cranking up Christmas tunes in my apartment and having a little dance party as I rock around my very tiny Christmas tree - Brenda Lee would be proud.

8.) About this time, the weather starts to turn a bit colder. As I get out my winter coat and bundle up, I stop to consider the miracle that here we are on the same planet, with the same sun, moon, and stars, and depending on a slight axis tilt one way or the other, we get a heat wave or a blizzard. Amazing.

9.) The Christmas markets in Columbus Circle and Union Square are some of my favorite places at Christmas time. I get a donut, a cup of apple cider, and browse around for a few unique gifts, all while pretending that I've stepped back in time when markets like these were the primary shopping destinations for gifts.

10.) Marking time is an ancient, sacred act. Before we know it, December 25th will have come and gone from our lives for another year. As I try to rush to get everything done in time for the big day, I remind myself that in every countdown is the embedded message that time is precious. And is there anything more full of wonder than the passing of time itself and our own ability to survive, adapt, and thrive in this ever-changing, challenging world?

Wishing you a season full of wonder-renewing moments!

My Year of Hopefulness - Treasure Hunting

Life is a treasure. The deeper you dig, the more you will find. You've got to get underneath, find out what brings about true joy, what opens our hearts, what inspires us to go further than we ever thought possible. In December I always feel compelled to keep on digging right through to the new year. The lights that fill New York's streets at this time of year match the light I always find in my own life during the holidays.

December always seem to fly right by me. I blink and it's New Years Eve. Maybe it's the jobs I've had. Maybe it's that I always seem to be in the middle of a personal project during this time. It could be the incessant countdown that seems to get faster with each passing day this month. Most likely, I think it's the fact that time flies when we're enjoying ourselves, and this is my very favorite time of year.

I always find that my sense of hope is renewed in December, too. My faith in the benefits of hard work, determination, and steadfast empathy is met with continual new opportunities for learning and personal growth this month. I often find myself skipping down the street, driven by an overwhelming sense of gratitude for my good fortune. In other words, it feels like Christmas.

This year, I'm making a pact with myself to seek out the treasures in my life, hold them up to the light, and give thanks for each of them in a way that I never have before. To spend as much time with friends and family as I possibly can. I'll forgo a little more sleep than usual. I'll take long walks, even though it's cold outside, so I can soak up every bit of cheer I can find. I'll sing and dance and groove to my favorite Christmas tunes. I'll watch the specials on TV, bake cookies, trim a tree or two, and donate time and money to causes I care about. That's my gift to myself this year: the treasure of joy, and as much of it as I can muster.

My Year of Hopefulness - Mother's Day

I took Mom to brunch and to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens today for Mothers' Day. It's easy for her to hop on a train, I pick her up at Grand Central, and away we go. Though I love my family get-togethers it's also fun to have my mom all to myself once in a while - something we had precious little of when I was younger.

All day I considered how Mom has shaped my life, how much I've learned from her, and how much comfort she's given me over the years. We drive each other crazy from time to time also, though I think that's more just the nature of mother-daughter relationships. I wouldn't swap lives with my mom - she had a tough go of it for many, many years. She came of age in a time when women were starting to be treated with equality, though she endured many unfair circumstances that had nothing to do with her ability and everything to do with her gender. I know she lives vicariously through my accomplishments and I try to live up to that honor every day.

After dropping Mom at Grand Central so she could catch her train home, I hopped onto Facebook to see a note from my friend, Heidi, that she was spending the day celebrating the great lady who now watches over her from above. I reflected back on my day with Mom, thinking about how excited she was to smell the full scent of wisteria and see the azaleas in bloom at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. I'm so grateful for this time we have together - it's one of the biggest reasons I came back to NYC. After my Mom's cancer in 2006, I realized with a sad and painful awareness that she wouldn't be with me forever, that someday I'd have to celebrate Mother's Day the same way my friend, Heidi, did today.

For now though, Mom's alive and kicking (or at least she will be kicking once she gets her new knee on June 1st) and time is of the essence. As we went up the escalator from the subway, my mom gave me a hug and thanked me so much for the day.

"You spent a lot of money, today, Christa."

"That's fine, Mom. I'm happy to be able to do it. It's only money."

And I meant it - it is only money, and I can always make more of it. I won't always be able to get more time with Mom so we need to savor it while we can. Happy Mother's Day to all!

My Year of Hopefulness - A Little Bit of the Divine

This morning I was on the Metro-North train to visit my family for Easter. Two little boys, twins, got on the train with their mom, who looked exhausted and worn out, with a couple of new toys. Another woman walked by – she was one of those classic old New York women who you know from her tone of voice have lived in this big city for the better part of their lives. I am sure she talks to everyone she meets as if she’s known them forever, and given all she’s lived through, she’s entitled to state any and all of her opinions as fact. These women also exactly what to say and when to say – their timing and level of appropriateness is impeccable.

“Where’d you get those toys?” she asked the two children. “Mom or the Easter Bunny?”

“The Easter Bunny.”

“Huh. You know Moms are much better than the Easter Bunny. You can’t trust a rabbit but you can always trust you mother.”

The mother smiled, grateful and confused. The boys looked at her with surprise.

“What if I know the rabbit?” one of the boys asked.

“And if I can’t trust a rabbit, can I trust my cat?” the other boy asked.

“Well cats are tricky, too. Even mine. And I guess you can trust a rabbit if you know him, but my money’s on your mother.”

And with that very simple statement, she was gone. When I overhear conversations like this, I sometimes wonder if I’m witnessing a divine moment. Maybe that woman is some angel who showed up right when this mother needed her most. It’s possible that I watched too many episodes of Touched by an Angel with my own mom when I was little. It’s also possible that I so much want to believe in the divine in some form that I’m willing to tell myself these elaborate stories as if they are proof.

Springtime does this to us. I’m having a hard time remembering the last winter that lasted this long and seemed this cold and unrelenting. And I like cold weather and snow, thick sweaters and boots. But this Easter, I’m really ready to wish it a fond farewell, hoping it doesn’t rear its head until December.

I’m ready to see some new life sprout up from the Earth. I’m ready for New York to transform itself with flowering trees and sidewalk cafes. I’m ready for a little bit of the divine, or even seemingly divine, to touch our lives again and bring us some hope that we are moving forward and evolving, and the most powerful vehicle for that kind of message is in watching nature take on different hues and textures. I’d like to see all this hard work we’ve been doing during this cold winter come to fruition through a rebirth of heart and mind and spirit.

Holiday card mishap

This story is just too good to keep to myself. I debated about whether or not to tell it in a public forum but I just can't resist. My friend, Jane, had me laugh so hard today that my eyes were tearing over. My stomach was aching. 

She has a boss who's a bit of an exhibitionist. For example, when they needed to use some photography for a new product her company was launching, he used a photo of himself. In a muscle shirt. And the presentation was being sent to perspective clients.

So with this year's holiday cards, he got a little creative. Most people get a family photo where everyone's smiling, the dog seated on the couch, etc. Not this guy. He took a trip to Bali this past summer and thought he'd like to showcase that. Now, a normal person would choose a picture of the sunset, the ocean, maybe even a picture of himself sipping a tropical looking drink. 

Jane's boss decided to have someone take a photo of him in a black speedo (what Jane describes as an ill-fitting banana hammock) and used that for his holiday card. Yep - sent it to family, friends, co-workers, business contacts. I was floored. Talk about lack of judgement!

Now the card is all the talk about the office. People crowding in corners, at the copier, at the water cooler. Some are laughing, some are appalled, all have lost respect for him. Even clients are commenting on the card. It sounds like a stunt that Steve Carell would pull on The Office. (I'm thinking of sending the idea in to NBC.) Would anyone in their right mind seriously do that? Well, you know what they say - in all good comedy, there's a little bit of truth.     

My Year of Hopefulness - Make Something That Matters

My friend, Monika, hosted three of us for dinner at her place last night. I can say with certainty that it was the nicest New Year's Eve I've ever spent. Low-key, relaxed, with good friends, good food, and good wine. Though we just turned the page one more day, just like we have ever other day of the year, it did feel different this year. I did feel myself shrug off some sadness, some disappointment, even some anger. As I walked to the subway last night with my friend, Brandi, I was glad to hear I was not alone is feeling of heavy disappointment about the world. 

And then I read Seth Godin's blog post this morning. Apparently, he hates New Year's though he seems to have changed his tune this year, too. He sees a tremendous opportunity this year and I wonder how many of us will rise to the challenge he's laid before us: "The opportunity this year is bigger than ever: to lead change, to create a movement in a direction you want to go. While the rest of your world huddles and holds back, here's a golden chance to use cheap media, available attention, and great talent to make something that matters."    

To that end, I wanted to share a resource given to me by my friend, Linda. Linda is on the board of the Black Culinary Association (BCA), a nonprofit that supports racial minorities entering the culinary world. Linda found BCA after registering her profile on boardnetusa.org, an on-line community that matches up boards seeking members with individuals interested in serving on nonprofit boards. If you'd like to take up Seth Godin's challenge, this resource is a wonderful place to begin your journey. 

 

I'm home today cleaning my apartment to start the New Year off right. I was dusting my bookshelves a few hours ago and came across my copy of Oh, the Places You'll Go. While a little bit cliched at this point, there are a few lines where I always get choked up. It's possible I take our dear friend, Dr. Seuss, too literally. It's also possible that I am a giant sap. "Your mountain is waiting so....get on your way!" always has some special meaning for me. I've been searching for my mountain for a long time now, and while I've climbed a few peaks, looked out over a few vistas, and none of them have been my peaks. I simply borrowed them from someone else for a while, did some good while I was there, and then had to move on. 

In 2009, I'd like to find my mountain, make something that matters. If you've found yours, know that I am insanely jealous and excited for you all at once. It must be a remarkable feeling. If you're like me, still searching, then I hope that 2009 will be your year of great discovery, too. 

My Year of Hopefulness - Day 1

On December 23, 2008, I began a daily log of acts of kindness after writing a blog post about small moments that made my day. I realized in the 15 minutes that it took me to write that post that I had a very simple New Year’s Resolution: I wanted to feel more hopeful in 2009 and I wanted to do my part to generate more hope for others. From that blog post and simple wish, I am starting an extraordinary year of giving and receiving.

I don't typically write series of articles on this blog. To help me keep my New Year's Resolution, I will be writing a daily blog post, in addition to my other regular posts, about what I am doing to be more hopeful and generate more help for others. It will be a good reminder to me, and I hope that it may do readers some good as well. 

The economy is weighing heavily on people's minds at the start of this year. People are facing layoffs and possibly the bankruptcy of the companies they work for, particularly in certain industries such as retail. As a result, it can be pretty tough to get up for work in the morning. Even if you are lucky enough to keep your job in this downturn, and you are indeed lucky if you're in that boat, there will be added stress as you may be doing the work of two or three people, and being asked to do that work with no additional compensation or resources. 

So what can we do to make that trip out the front door a bit better? This evening I made up a small sign that I taped to the inside of my front door, right by the door knob, that details what I am achieving and working toward at this current job and the good things about my position that I should be grateful for. It will be a good reminder every morning before I head out for work. If you are facing some discomfort in your current job, maybe this tactic will help you as well. 

Happy New Year!

Why I Need Christmas

I was raised a Catholic and in my teenage years my mother had a religious epiphany shortly before my father passed away. We started going to church regularly. I was never much into that crucifix that was the centerpiece of the ceremony, though I did find the rituals comforting. I can’t tell you why – I guess I was craving some sense of routine, a little less randomness in the chaos. My expectations for the mass were set. I knew when to stand, sit, and kneel. I knew when to say hi to my neighbors and when to wish them peace and when to leave them alone. I knew what to say and when to say it aloud, in unison with everyone around me. I liked the structure and knowing what came next. Order and predictability were a welcome retreat.

I don’t go to Church anymore. I believe in being my own savior, and trying to save other people when possible by sharing my own survival stories, mistakes, time, learnings, and a sprinkling of chartable giving to select organizations that I believe do good work. I find salvation on my yoga mat, or in walking through the parks that surround my neighborhood, or at my computer, writing, in museums surrounded by centuries-old art, and during performances of theatre and dance and music of which there are many in New York. My inspiration and my faith are grounded in my family and my friends whom I am so close to that they are my family.

So even though I classify as Agnostic and not Christian, I still celebrate Christmas. I sill look forward to the season and take great joy in the decorations, the carols, the traditions, and the general feeling of hope and kindness that envelops our society at this time of year. I always emerge stronger and happier and calmer on December 26th than I was on December 24th. Maybe it’s the massive amounts of pie I consume on Christmas Day, maybe it’s seeing my sister, Weez, or the Christmas cards that arrive by post and by email, the surprise and excitement on the faces of my family as they open presents I so carefully wrapped for them.

More likely though, I think it’s a renewed sense of faith. In myself, in the world. I find that at Christmas time I can give up my fate to the universe much more readily than I can at any other time of year. There are some people who are able to keep Christmas in their hearts all year-round. I can’t. I am grateful everyday for what I have, for the people in my life, for my good health and fortune. Still, I need December 25th to be reminded of goodness, to be inspired, to rekindle my creativity. And it always comes just in time, just when I need it most. Happy Christmas.

The above photo can be found at http://www.larissameek.com/wp-content/uploads/winterfantasy.jpg

A Happy Holiday Smile Box featuring Kenneth the Page

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Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

It occurred to me this holiday season that I have not written you a letter in over 20 years. As a kid, I would leave a note for you, with a glass of milk, some cookies, and some treats for your reindeer. I don't recall any gifts that I specifically asked for, though I do remember how excited I would feel going to bed on the night of December 24th. I would wake up several times during the night thinking I heard the reindeer on the roof, or jingle bells, or footsteps down stairs leaving presents under the tree. Every night in December we would call a special phone number (from our house phone - remember those?) to hear a message from you about what you were working on or where you were at that moment. I believed.

Now at 32, I don't make Christmas lists any more. I am very fortunate to be able to have the means to get what I need or want, within reason, for myself. However, I do have one request that I am hoping you can help me with that I have been having a bit of trouble getting on my own.

For the new year, I'd like to be able to capture some of that child-like wonder I had the last time I wrote to you so many years ago. I'd like to believe again - in the goodness of the world, in magic, in our ability to do anything we want with our lives. I feel like "No" is all around us. We are strangled by rules and hierarchy and people who tell us what's the "right way" or the "wrong way" to do things. It seems that we have lost our collective smile in the face of very hard times that will likely get harder.

I'm hoping you can help me be a little bit stronger, a little bit more hopeful, and a little bit more daring. Can you help me take a bit more risk, go out on a limb from time to time, and have more faith in myself and in people in general? I'd like to do my part in the coming year to generate more joy - for myself and in my community. This will take some focus on my part - even on days when I'm down, I'd like to be able to remember to count my blessing, of which there are many. And most of all, I'd like to have the courage to create the life I imagine for myself.

I know you're busy tonight, with lots of children around the world to visit. But if you find yourself with a small gap of time as you're flying over the Upper West Side of Manhattan, I'd love to have you stop in for some cookies and milk. Safe travels.  

Love,

Christa      

The photo above can be found at: http://www.treehugger.com/santa-reading283746234.gif

Leaving sales on the table

Two girls shot in a California Toys R Us; a temporary employee, likely someone who needed the extra money in this economy, trampled to death in a Wal-Mart. All this after a raucous crowd ripped the doors off of the hinges. I was saddened and shocked to read this news late last night, particularly because I spent last Black Friday working in a retail store. Is that $130 Blu-Ray player worth violence? Does anyone on my list need a Nintendo DS so badly that I should literally risk life and limb to get it at as deep a discount as possible?

We could say that people in general need to calm down when it comes to holiday shopping. Perhaps suggesting that they act like humans instead of wild animals on the hunt. Then I took a stroll through the Wednesday and Thanksgiving papers that were filled with circulars. I reconsidered all of the television and internet advertising I've seen in the past few weeks, compounded by the many newspaper articles that have trumpeted Black Friday sales as the only time of year when you can get a real deal. Is it any wonder that frenzy ensues?

I understand that retailers are hurting and need the business. I understand that our economy needs a boost from consumer spending this holiday season. The only thing that is going to prevent this kind of violence happening year after year on the day after Thanksgiving is pull-back by retailers. This Black Friday is a man-made holiday, and it needs a man-made solution. Drive more sales to on-line rather than in-store. Learn how to spread yours sales across a season rather than across the hours of 5am - 11am on one day. And for heaven's sake order enough inventory to fulfill at least a majority of the demand. Work with the suppliers beforehand, long beforehand, and do a proper forecasting model. This scarcity as strategy model is obscene, and it's literally killing people.

This season I'll be staying away from stores for the majority of the holiday season, as much as possible. I might pop in at some lull periods just to soak up some ambiance. I'll be doing my spending right here in front of my laptop. In my efforts to cultivate peace on Earth this holiday, it seems that our retailers are not the place to be.

Tradition!

While I practice traditions in so many areas of my lives, I find that as I get older I am more reluctant to make any new ones of my own. I adopt them from family and friends, and many of them relate back to my childhood. I think of their practice as a way to hold on to happy memories and people that have passed on. Traditions preserve history.

I came across a blog post by Andrea Leigh on the Amazon Daily Blog about the tradition of eating food in the shape of a ring to celebrate the New Year. It is believed by many cultures that this will bring good luck as it symbolizes "coming full circle". The Dutch in their forever playful outlook on life feel that donut eating is the best way to "ring" in the New Year. What a marvelous way to take a tradition and personalize it. And who am I to argue? Boston Cream, anyone?

For Andrea Leigh's post, visit http://www.aldenteblog.com/2008/01/happy-new-year.html

Day 1

2008 was brought in with a wide smile on my face surrounded by fabulous friends. I have never hosted a New Year's party before and my friend, Catherine, suggested that having one would be a good idea. Plus, she has a spacious apartment, a rarity in NYC, that would be a perfect spot to host one.

I invited a number of friends from different parts of my life, and many of them had never met before. Worlds colliding can be a nerve-wracking thing. To my delight, it was fabulous from beginning to end. People were striking up conversations right and left and I feel confident that the party could have gone on into the wee hours of the morning without a pause.

I was so thrilled with the turnout of so many amazing people in one room. And a bit sad, too. I have been wishing that I could afford a bigger apartment to have gatherings like this more often. And then my dear friend, Lisa, helped me open up my eyes a bit wider. We panned the room to take a look at the space that people were actually occupying as they enojyed the last few hours of 2007. It was roughly the size of my studio apartment. And when I came home I did some more analyzing...while my place may be small, there is ample room to sit and chat, and people at a party don't spread out - they clump together to have conversations and to share laughs.

The wonderful gift that 2008 brought me, in addition to all of the great people I was surrounded by, was the idea that this type of gathering didn't need to be a once-a-year event. I could have this kind of celebration much more often, even in my studio apartment. Happiness and laughter is like air - it just conforms to the space in which you allow it to be.

The image above can be found at http://www.backdrops.net/images/108%20Celebration%2010%20x%2010.JPG

Looking back

"I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.
~ Edna Mode, The Incredibles

After much anticipation, the 31st of December has arrived. And the questions ensue. "What resolutions are you making?" "Do you have big plans for New Year's?" "How did you feel about 2007?" "What do you think will happen in 2008?"

The quote from Edna Mode seems very timely and the perfect answer to just about any question you may get as we turn the page on the calendar in a matter of hours. I envy people who don't look back. I look back obsessively, searching for patterns, regretting things I've done or said, or didn't say or do that perhaps I should have. I try to imagine where I was and what I was doing exactly one year ago. Who was I with? What was I hoping for?

I know that many people say they don't believe in resolutions, or they come up with a new name for "resolution" to make it seems less ominous. I make resolutions, and I'm glad I make them and most of the time I've kept them. They give me some direction, a goal, something to shoot for that requires my commitment in some measure. Resolutions are personal creations that determine how we'd like to conduct our lives in the 365 days ahead. They are cause for celebration, not despair.

This year, I'm making a few simple ones. One of them is inspired my Ms. Mode. 2007, for me, was a year of not looking back. I graduated, launched into a new career in a "new" city, and put myself out there. I gave up thinking about old boyfriends and old friends that had faded away, often for the best. I cultivated happiness in every area of my life, and went about weeding those pesky things in my life that detracted from joy. I embraced the now.

So in 2008, I am committed to continuing that train of thought. I am making every effort to look forward, head up, eyes wide, ears open because all we've got is the now, and I don't want to miss a moment of it.

The above photo can be found on: http://www.allmoviezone.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/incredibles.jpg

Wild Revelry Is So Last Year

For the past few days I have been using my drive to work to come up with some pithy and witty commentary on New Year's and why it's my least favorite holiday. I opened the Times this morning and decided I didn't need to write anything - William Grimes said it best.

I'll be spending NYE with a few friends eating delicious, home-made food, and completely avoiding any run in with crowds. I've decided that 2008 is going to be the best year of my life. "Why?" you may ask. Just call it a very good hunch.

William Grimes story in Today's Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/28/arts/28stay.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin

Madonna had it right

How many times have we heard that giving of ourselves is much more in the holiday spirit than stopping off at a retailer to participate in the never-ending American consumerism. Great sentiment though what’s a company based on selling “stuff” supposed to do with it?

Enter the HP Activity Center.
http://expressioncenter.wetpaint.com/page/Holiday+Gifts+in+Under+One+Hour
By creating the WetPaint Wiki (http://www.wetpaint.com/), HP provides easy templates and instructions to create unique items from ornaments to cookbooks to toys to calendars to gift wrap. This is the Make It Yourself trend to the extreme and allows all of us to tap our inner artist. Additionally, you can share your creations and creativity tips with the WetPaint community, allowing you to not only make your own wares but show them off as well.

“Express yourself” never had more meaning…