My Year of Hopefulness - Finding your voice and your pack

"He who cannot howl will not find his pack." ~ Charles Simic

Your own clear, strong voice can be elusive. Writing helps me find mine every day, and that provides a benefit for every other area of my life. I've connected with people I'd never have met otherwise. I've developed friendships, mentorships, and a vast network as a result of my writing. It's been a true blessing in my life. Through writing, I found my voice and that helped me find like-minded people.

Someone recently commented to me that bloggers are arrogant and self-indulgent people who just want to talk about themselves. I'm not sure when we turned the corner from wanting to share our experiences to being arrogant and self-indulgent. If we follow that train of thought that means every person who ever wrote a memoir, opinion column, or created any piece of art in any medium that somehow conveys their life experiences is arrogant and self-indulgent. And consider how many stories didn't get told, and therefore didn't get shared, and therefore didn't help anyone because other people like the one I spoke with about bloggers discouraged others from finding their voice. It's sad.

I'd argue that anyone who thinks their life isn't worth blogging isn't living an interesting enough life. Whether they choose to do that or not is of course their business, though the reason for not doing it should never be that they aren't interesting enough. People are a lot more interesting than they give themselves credit for.

A friend of mine has been pretty badly bullied at work by a senior leader. During a recent focus group about this leader, he found that many other people felt the same way. Until this focus group, he felt alone in his predicament, wanting very much to keep his job and also wanting to stand up for himself. He got that chance through his focus group, though only found his voice because others around him found theirs too.

In a way, the person I spoke to about bloggers is a bully, too. A bully is anyone who dissuades someone else from taking up an activity that helps them realize who they are and helps them find others like them. Or they're at the very least incredibly unhappy, miserable people. I watch the Today Show while I'm getting ready in the morning, and this morning there was a segment on bullies. It's becoming all too common these days for adults to encounter bullies. They inflict fear on others because they live in fear themselves.

Finding your voice, and your pack, is about releasing our own fear and not allowing others to make us be fearful. You owe it yourself. The joy of life is found by connecting with others, sharing with others, and helping others to find their own happiness. Don't let someone else take that joy away from you under any circumstances. Share your story, spread your wings, and make the most of the days you've got.

Blogging the competition: adver-blogging

On frogblog today, Tim Leberecht discusses a small group of corporate blogs that we are now seeing pop up. Brew blog is one example. It's run by Miller Brewing Company, and rather than promote Miller, the writers spend their time chronicling the fumblings of its biggest rival, Anheuser-Busch. Ick - is this what we're going to do with our new connectivity tools? Use them and spend our time bashing one another? I'd be disappointed in any company who engaged in this kind of activity, and what's more, I'd stop patronizing the brand doing the adver-blogging.

The theory of glass houses applies. I understand wanting to keep tabs on your competition. I understanding wanting to your own horn to drum up business. But just as it does so often with political campaigns, I think the people and companies doing the bashing will ultimately get bashed themselves, with a vengeance.

I hope that we don't see this emerge as a growing trend. I'm much more interested in hearing a company's own stories in their own words. See Tim's original post at http://www.frogdesign.com/frogblog/adversarial-blogging-the-brew-blog-and-co.html

The occupational hazard of blogging and other creative outlets

This week, the New York Times ran a story on three prolific bloggers who, it is believed, blogged themselves to death. (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/06/technology/06sweat.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&ref=media) The stress of the constant need to publish as quickly and as often as humanly possible caused them to fall into poor health. Several friends immediately sent me the article, knowing that I try as best as I can to publish daily on my own blog. I don't always make it, though I am always on the look out for new content and new ideas.

I feel terrible for the families and friends of these writers, the oldest of which was only 60. It is always tragic to see anyone consumed by what they love. I read the article closely, several times, and there are a few things that on the surface I feel may have saved these people. I hope by sharing them with you that they may help other people who feel obsessed with their jobs for whatever reason.

I completely understand insomnia - I've suffered with it for most of my life. I understand anxiety about money - I grew up in a family with very little, and only recently have been able to breath a bit easier about my finances. There were a few huge things in my life that have made a difference in my level of anxiety - I consciously decide to not be a workaholic, and I practice yoga every day, no matter how short an amount of time.

When I worked in DC, some of my office mates would make fun of me because at 5:30, nearly every day, I was out the door. I would feel angry about their teasing sometime, though most of the time I let it go. My mom works herself to the bone. I mean to the absolute brink. It was painful for me, as a kid, to watch her. A year and a half ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and from her recovery bed, she was on her computer. Some call this dedication. There's no denying my mom is a dedicated woman; unfortunately, she is dedicated to a fault. A very large fault, that very easily could cost her, and her children, her life.

Even today, I will come in early, I will work on things at home at night, but I never, and I mean never, allow myself to fall into the habit of staying in the office past 5:30. On occasion, I get it - deadlines pop up, and an occasional late night is necessary. When I went looking for a job after business school, I was adamant about finding one that afforded me a life and time to live it. This is a conscious choice - I ALWAYS have more work, I could always be doing more. I choose to let it lie for the next day. I could very easily become a workaholic; it's in my blood. I fight that temptation every step of the way, and I refuse to back down in the face of my impulse to work "just a little bit more".

Yoga, quite honestly, saved my life. It helped me forgive a lot of sadness and disappointment. It helped me cope during times of extreme stress. It gave me the strength to get up, again and again, with an open heart. It is a discipline. After years of practice, I can sleep, in relative peace. And when I can, where I can, I am out in the world singing yoga's praises, sharing my knowledge about it. Everyone needs a healthy release - yoga is mine.

Anything in the world can get the best of you - food, drugs, gambling, smoking, love, an obsessive hobby, and yes, work, no matter what field you're in. You have more control over you than anyone in the word, whether you realize it or not. At every moment we have a choice. If we are doing something, anything, that harms us, it's easier to blame someone else. Our boss, our romantic partner, our friends. The truth is others control us when we allow them to. Ultimately, our happiness, the very activities that compose our lives, are all choices. And choosing what to do among many options is the hardest, and most important, task we have. I consciously remind myself every morning that my time is the most valuable resource in the world, and I treat it accordingly.

The Power of Blogging

I believe that writers in the blogosphere can change the world by changing the way that people see their own environments. Until very recently, some members of the general public saw blogs as a fad. Though I love blogging, I have to admit that I've had my doubts about their effectiveness. My doubt has been compounded by looking at statistic of how many new blogs and blog posts are created every day. The blogosphere has some population growth issues, and I am playing my part in that growth.

Today I read an article about the Saudi blogger who was recently arrested for writings on his blog. He has been held since December 10th because of political candidates he supports through his blog. His political views are not what interest me. What I find fascinating is that musings and opinions on a blog warranted the Saudi police to intervene.

Bloggers around the world should be rejoicing. If there was any fear that blogs were the red-headed stepchild of the writing world, that fear has been squashed. You can be sure that if you create it and update it regularly with passionate writing, they will read.

For the up-to-date news on the Saudi blogger and his impending release, please visit http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/01/02/saudi.blogger.jailed/.