My Year of Hopefulness - Choosing the way

"To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness." ~ John Dewey

October has shaped up to be a fantastic month for me. A few dips here and there, though for the most part it's been about exploring new opportunities, meeting new people, and getting a better handle on how my life is moving forward. In other words, I am deep into the first piece of John Dewey's statement: "finding what one is fitted to do".

Tonight I had dinner with my friend, Richard, and we were talking about this exploration. I suppose one of the reasons we've become such good friends is that we are natural explorers. This is true of so many of my friends, nearly all of them have gone down many different paths, learning a lot along the way, and eventually finding their groove. I'm the late bloomer in the bunch. It took me a long time before I realized how that I could build a life around the idea of a securing a quality education for every child, how adamantly I believe in Frederick Douglass's idea that "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." I am a product of this idea and I am now at a point where I've been in the world enough to be able to fight for this principle in a thoughtful, compelling way.

So now the trick is the how, John Dewey's second piece of the puzzle: how (and where) to secure an opportunity to do what I am fitted to do. On the one hand, I am fortunate that my passion has many different avenues for me to pursue. I could go back to a nonprofit that has a mission to help children. I could teach. I could do research in this area. I could pursue an advanced degree (and there are several types of degrees that would be suitable). I could go into government work. I could simply volunteer as I have been doing for many years. I could write. In actuality, I could do all of these things, and likely will. On the other hand, how will I make a choice among all of these options? What is the right way forward for me?

One thing that has amazed me is that it's the first part, figuring out what we're fitted to do, what we're passionate about, that takes the most time and effort. Once that piece is firmly planted in our minds and hearts, and we begin to share it with others, opportunities to do what we love abound. People rally around us, support our dreams and efforts. Somehow, the way opens once we know what way we want to take.

This abundance didn't hit me until I was speaking to Richard tonight. I was telling him what I was interested in and why. I am in the midst of researching doctoral programs in public policy and there is one in particular that just feels right, that lights a fire in my eyes and heart, the same way that the Darden School was the absolute right fit for my MBA. There are others that seem fine as well, though I just can't seem to feel as excited about them as I am about this other program. And then a little panic set in. What if they don't take me? Then how will I ever get this work done that I now know I am fitted to do?

I thought about this on the subway ride home, actually I worried about it. And I played it through in my mind. What if this program didn't want me? What if the other programs didn't fit quite right? What if this degree just wouldn't be possible for me to get? I felt this way when applying to Darden, too. The only other program I applied to was Tuck, and after visiting Tuck, I knew that wasn't the right fit, so Darden quickly became the only place I could or would or wanted to go. On my drive back to DC from Charlottesville, after my interview and visit to grounds, after I had fallen deeply in love with Darden and the prospect of being a student there, I wondered what I would do if I didn't get in. I decided to do one of two things: I'd join the Peace Corps, also a lifelong dream of mine, or I'd move right back to New York where I knew I eventually wanted to make my home. That's it. Very simple.

As luck would have it, I was accepted at Darden on December 1st. I distinctly remember jumping for joy, accepting over the phone, and breathing a great big sigh of relief. I got exactly what I wanted. So now, I'm at that same point again. What will I do if this one program that seems perfect for me doesn't take me? Now there are many more options for this new road - maybe I'll teach full-time, go back into nonprofit work, start my own business, write, and continue to be an active volunteer. Maybe New York City government will prove to be the way for me. Yes, I confirmed, I have lots of options.

I emerged from the subway a few hours ago with a lighter heart. John Dewey would smile knowing that there are so many opportunities I could secure to go about doing my life's work. After all, he is the one who said we climb mountains so that we can see other mountains. From where I now stand, there are so many peaks in my landscape that a valley is scarcely able to be seen. With so many routes to happiness, the work for me now lies not in the finding but in the choosing. And that in itself is reason to smile.

The photo above is not my own. It can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - Our Best Help

"Anybody can serve....You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I've been doing some work with New York Women Social Entrepreneurs (NYWSE), a group dedicated to helping women launch and run successful social enterprises that have a profound impact on our society. Through a recent NYWSE event, I found A. Lauren Abele's blog. Lauren "is an economic development program assistant at a community development nonprofit in Brooklyn. By night, Lauren volunteers with other nonprofits helping them with fund development, strategic planning, and social media. She is one of the 2009 NYWSE Mastermind-Mentoring Initiative (MMI) graduates and big-time NYWSE advocate."

This week she posted her thoughts on how best to help a cause you care about. Her post really resonated with me. In relation to my post from yesterday about doing things we don't know how to do, Lauren advocates for helping the cause, any cause that interests us, by channeling our own special gifts and talents. If we want to make a difference, we can figure out how best to do that by delving deep within our own hearts. Just begin. We best help the cause by being who we are.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about fitting into a form versus creating a form around our own passions. It's a very different intention, a very different way of considering service. If we approach service first from the perspective of "what do I love to do, what am I good at, and when am I happiest?" and then find the circumstances that best showcase those activities, we'll achieve our highest potential.

Lauren's shining a light on something very profound. Consider this: let's say that you are passionate about the environment. There are so many options for you to really lend a hand to this cause. You could work with your local park or community garden. You could organize a recycling event in your neighborhood. You could support local farmers. You could write about the cause, sharing your knowledge and interest in the subject with others. There a million ways to play a part - all that's required is that you care and then channel that care into an activity that brings you joy.

It sounds so simple and yet we spend so much time trying to do what's "right" for the cause, what we think the cause needs, rather than taking what we do well and doing that for the cause's benefit. Really what's right for the cause is that we just be present, that we contribute in some way that's uniquely, beautifully us.

The image above can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - Building a World Out of Creativity, Mistakes, and Art

“Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~ Howard Thurman

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”
~ Scott Adams (Dilbert)

Both of these quotes were provided by my friend, Amanda Hirsch. Amanda is the author of Creative DC, a blog about living a creative life in DC. She found me online while looking for blogs about New York City. After clicking through to my resume, she found that we have just about all the same interests and graduated from the same university, the same year. (It's a big school so sadly we didn't meet way back when.)

It's these online connections to creative, inspiring people that keeps me writing. They make all this effort worthwhile. There are a plethora of interesting, engaging people out there, spread out all over the map. Writing online gives us a way to find each other.

And this brings me to the reason that Amanda's first quote really got to me. It would be very easy to just look around and see what the world needs, and then go make that. That's certainly a viable road to entrepreneurship. Trouble is that method doesn't necessarily get our internal motors running.

Running a business, heck writing a regular blog, takes an incredible amount of dedication and time. There are nights that I have to stay in and write, and I love that. When I'm writing, I don't feel like I'm missing out on doing something else. I'm passionate about this art form, and have made a conscious decision to become a better writer. That's going to take time. Point is, I didn't look around and say "what the world needs is another person to write about creativity." I'm interested in creativity and writing. They make me come alive - and me coming alive can go a long toward making the world around me a better place to be.

Finally, this point brings me to Amanda's second quote. There are a lot of times that a whole lot of nonsense flows from my keyboard. The wording is awkward. I can't turn a phrase properly. I have a tough time translating my thoughts into words that other people understand. I edit as much as I actually write. The creativity piece involves throwing down everything on the page. Forget about beauty and style and grace. Just get the thought down. Editing is the real art - knowing what to keep and what to toss away so that the necessary can speak.

Our world is built around creativity, mistakes, and art. From the buildings we occupy to the streets we walk to the businesses we frequent. These three things are inextricably intertwined. And while the result isn't perfect, it's beautiful and unique and interesting - exactly the way the world should be.

My Year of Hopefulness - The Laws of (Minimizing) Distraction

Distraction is everywhere. I’ve recently learned about a company that does brain imaging using neurofeedback to help people get “in the zone”. Athletes, artists, politicians, CEOs, writers. Fascinating stuff. And before you know it I was off and running researching psychology programs to see if I should get another Masters degree.

There’s a key difference between new knowledge that informs our current work, or the work we’d really like to be doing, and developing a brand new passion. A brand new passion takes a lot of dedication, time, and very often, money. After business school, I wanted to really understand and participate in social media, and I really wanted to focus on the craft of writing. It’s taken me thousands of hours over the course of two years to get a handle on those things. Well worth the time and effort because those are passions of mine. They define me in a very significant way.

There are a million interesting things in this world to learn so it’s no wonder that there seem to be no end to distractions. Given my propensity for distraction, I’ve recently done two things that have been helpful ways to keep my focus:

1.) Take on only 1 or 2 goals, not 5 or 6, in any one area of life.
2.) Write those 1 or 2 goals down and post them up in place you will see regularly. I’ve found that the inside of the front door is a good one so that way I read it every time I come into and leave my apartment.

Limiting distraction and maintaining focus is difficult work. It requires constant vigilance. But it's critical to happiness and meaningful accomplishment in our lives. I have a friend who is forever getting involved in more research projects, prolonging his doctoral studies. Another friend of mine has been collecting degrees of a wide variety and in the process making her feel more unhappy and lost. There's a balance we have to strike between expanding our horizons and keeping our eye on the ball. In general, I find the golden rule is to expand my horizons only to the point that my interests are reinforcing and supporting one another. So far, so good.

My Year of Hopefulness - The life in your time

Today, the world said good-bye to Michael Jackson with all the fanfare, emotion, and celebration that should accompany the passing of someone who changed the world of entertainment forever. 50 short years of pushing the boundaries, taking risks, and going his own way inspired tens of millions of people across the globe.

I read an article in my alumni magazine about the book Plain, Honest Men by Dr. Richard Beeman. It describes the summer when a group of people gathered to write the Constitution of the United States. They made it up as they went along. They focused on writing a document to create a more perfect union, not a perfect union. In one summer, they formed the base laws that would govern a nation for centuries to come, a nation that would be the beacon of hope for people around the world.

Walt Disney wanted to build a place that captured creativity and inspired everyone who walked through its gates. From that park, he built an empire of innovation and entertainment that has caused the many millions of people who visit to wonder and dream. Walt Disney, and a team of believers, built the original Disneyland in 1 year.

Legacies are built one moment, one decision, one vision at a time. They require heart and passion and commitment. Time is the asset, not the constraint, that builds lasting impact. Michael Jackson, the fathers of our country, and Walt Disney are proof that there is a whole lot of living that can be done in a very short span of time.

10,000 hours

Malcolm Gladwell just released a new book, Outliers. He takes a look at the lives, circumstances, and personality traits of remarkably successful, productive people who make a significant impact in the world. One point that I found particularly interesting is his views on intelligence and diligence.

A certain level of intelligence and education gets an individual to a certain degree of success. However, to get any further, it's actually diligence that carries them. Specifically 10,000 hours of diligence in our chosen field is absolutely necessary if we wish to make a significant impact there. Now, just putting in the hours toiling away in a cube is not a sure-fire plan. You still need that degree of intelligence, and 10,000 hours in the minimum investment necessary.

This particular stat caught my interest because I, like many in my generation, am a job hopper. I have been blessed to have discovered one good opportunity after another in very quick succession. I see a greener pasture and I go for it. That's not to say that every move was a marvelous idea. Most were, though there were some duds to. What is true is that they have all been critical component of a very interesting path that I built for myself.

Now I have a job in a field that utilizes all of the skills I amassed through a variety of different jobs. All the time I put in at my other positions provided the experience to get me to this place, but my accumulation of those 10,000 hours began only recently. Perhaps without knowing it, Malcolm Gladwell made a very profound statement directly to my generation. "Hop around to find your passion. That's fine. But once you find that passion it takes staying power to make it to the top of the heap." Wise counsel, intended or not, and I'm very grateful to him for it.

What's the difference between being preachy and passionate?

I understand that there can be a thin line between preaching and speaking passionately. Barack Obama is a brilliant example of someone who has mastered the art of speaking passionately without becoming preachy. A friend of mine was just telling me about a meeting he was recently asked to join because of his expertise on humanitarian relief work. Mind you, this topic was the topic of discussion. He is marvelously articulate and speaks with such authority and passion that it is fully understandable how people will walk to the ends of the Earth for him. 

After he finished his two minute discussion on the role of humanitarian relief work in several hot-button areas of the world right now, there was dead silence from his boss. I should interject here that he is far more educated and personally vested in this cause than she is, despite the fact that she has seniority. He makes her look good without fail, on every project, and she has often publicly taken credit for work he has done. 

At this meeting, rather than thanking him for his point of view, she responded by addressing the group with, "well, not that that information has anything to do with the issue at hand..." Actually, it had everything to do with the issue at hand. His boss was irritated that he had a more articulate, and opposing view, than the surface comments she was making. What's more my friend is far more genuine than his boss, she knows this, and is unable to level the playing field with him. She closed the conversation saying, "well, I think we've had enough preaching for one day." So ludicrous, it's laughable...

And that started me thinking about the difference between preaching, which often has a negative connotation, and articulately addressing an issue with passion. It comes down to whether the person speaking is talking to hear himself talk and or if he is educating and sharing his point-of-view with his audience. Preaching has a lot of shallow dazzle and speaking with passion has dazzle plus substance. With all of my friend's energy and enthusiasm, my advice to him was to move on to someplace that appreciates and rewards him for everything he has to offer.