It's the middle of the night and I'm having a tough time sleeping. I've become accustomed to insomnia as I've had it off and on for most of my life. Tonight is a little eerie though. I'm awake because of the wind. It's keeping me up long past my bedtime. It's so gusty that as I was walking back to my friend, Amber's, apartment, I could feel the weather bearing down on me. For a moment I almost lost my footing. You'd think this was Chicago in the winter the way the gusts are going. We rarely have wind like this, especially at the beginning of September.
I can't help but think that this odd wind is a way for the greater universe to say to me that my life is being cleaned out, and it must be this way as tough as the circumstances may be. With these gusts will go all of the bad energy from the fire. And with that energy will go the fear as well - mine, and my neighbors', family's, and friend's fears, too. Rather than it being a disturbing wind, perhaps it's trying to be of great use at a time of great need. Maybe a strong, forceful wind is exactly what's called for in times of stress. At least I'm hoping that's the case.
As I headed from The Empire Hotel toward the subway tonight, for a second I thought "damn, all my warm clothes might be ruined. I have nothing to wear!" And then a second later I started laughing, out loud. Who cares? So I will have to buy some new warm clothing now that Fall has arrived. I stopped for a moment right by Columbus Circle and looked up at the sky, the clouds faintly swirling and swishing in the very dark sky. I said a prayer to whatever and whoever is up there looking down on me, blowing all the smoke away so that I might see and think a bit more clearly. "Thank you," I said. "I'm glad I'm here to witness this." And I've never meant any 9 words more in my life.
The image above is not my own. It can be found here.