I took my second shot at speed dating last night. This time, I had 40 mini-dates over the course of 3 hours. And here comes the shocker: out of 40 available men, I found 1 that I’d be interested in seeing again. And that’s only because he’s very good-looking. Now his lack of interestingness could have something to do with him being date #38 for me. He was clearly exhausted from talking about himself so much.
The trouble with speed dating is that the only way you’re really inclined to want to see someone again is if you happen upon an interesting nugget of information about them in the 3 minutes you actually talk to one another (unlikely, though possible) or you have some physical attraction to the person (as was the case with #38.) Now, don’t get me wrong. I did enjoy learning about some of these guys – places they’ve traveled to, where they work, what places they like to go to for happy hour or dinner. There just wasn't any spark of interest with 39 of them.
My romantic sensibilities make me inclined toward nerds and guys who have a goofy sense of humor who don’t take themselves too seriously. These guys aren’t going to be found in speed dating circles. They’re out in the world, doing things, making things, and having a load of fun doing it. By design, speed dating is really primed for “slicksters” and people who put on aires. When you only have three minutes, there isn’t much time to get real. You’re under a lot of pressure to make a good impression right out of the gate, and you know the person on the other side of the table is watching you very intently.
I didn’t realize all of this until giving it a second go. And so, this concludes the end of my speed-dating days. All two of them. Though, I keep reminding myself, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” I just need a new venue, and I need to slow down.