Saturday, May 24, 2008

32 and single is okay

With the upcoming release of the Sex and the City movie, the idea of 30-something women in New York City pursuing successful careers, love, and happiness is being brought to the forefront of the minds of women like me. While I would never spend $1500 on a handbag or a pair of shoes, even if I had that kind of money to spend on such things, I certainly relate to some of the pursuits of the characters in that hit show. 

So it was with a little surprise that I went to a party last week and was told by another young woman that if a 32-year old found a man there's no way she'd ever move to another city just to pursue a job opportunity, no matter how incredible the job. I was a tiny bit hurt (emphasis on the "tiny"), though was more disappointed with the person. For one thing, she knew I was a 32 year old single woman, and her characterization of women my age being desperate to find a man is completely off the mark. Would it be great to find love? Sure. Am I going to pass up incredible career opportunities in the hopes that a current boyfriend is the love of my life? No way. I wouldn't want him to either, so why would I ask that of myself?

The other point that really gets me is that people who are in relationships often assume that the goal of all single people is to find a mate. It's as if we must be sitting around hoping and praying that he'll "find us". Give me a break! I love my friends, my career, my family, my creative pursuits. They're my focus. I'm not waiting for my true love to "rescue me" from my single life. Again, would it be great to meet a guy whom I connect with on a deep level whom I love and respect and admire? Yes, definitely. Does it consume my waking hours? No way - it's a passing thought from time to time. And maybe somewhere down the line it happens, and maybe it doesn't. And either way, it's all okay.      

If there's anything that Candace Bushnell's characters have taught us it's that love of self and friends and life is the greatest pursuit of all.


Liz said...

I am glad you wrote what you did about being a 32-year old single woman. I'm pretty much in the same boat, except I'm 31. Sometimes it gets depressing, but you're right...if I had the chance to improve my career or something of that sort, I don't think I would abandon the options because I finally found a man. Whatever. Here's to being single. Hey, we can still travel whenever we want, with whomever we want, come back home as late as we want, and we answer to no one.

Christa said...

Hi Liz,
Thanks so much for reading my blog and for your comment. Being in our 30's and single is better than okay - it's terrific. And I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise!