Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Year of Hopefulness - A Little Too Comfortable

My friend, Alex, is renowned for her cards. I'm not talking about holiday cards or birthday cards. I always have a beautiful envelope show up in my mailbox with her curly handwriting on it when I expect it least and need it most. A new job, a new apartment, a tough time as showcased on this blog. This week I got a card from her that I loved so much I hung it up at my desk at work. It makes me smile every time I look at it.

The quote on the front of the card says, "Friend, you are a divine mingle-mangle of guts and stardust. So hang in there!" It's a quote from Frank Capra. He also famously said that "A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something." While on the surface, Alex's card may just seem like a sweet gesture from a good friend, I also think there's something else baked into it. She's really telling me to just get on with it. It's a message I need to hear, and if anyone can tell me that in a kind, supportive way, it's Alex.

Tonight I had dinner with my friend, Katie, a fellow Pisces. She mentioned something about Saturn being in Pisces and causing all kinds of havoc. Apparently, the effect is cumulative and ends on October 31st. Essentially this means that universe has been whacking us around for a bit and decided to send Saturn out of our sign with a bang, explaining why just about everything in my life got flipped upside-down in the past month. Now, I'm not quite sure that I believe in astrology to this extent but goodness does it explain a lot!

I've also been feeling an increase in energy this last week and feeling the tides of change sweeping in. Before Saturn's wallop, I was getting too comfy in my daily routine. Everything seemed to be "good enough". And I'm not a person that can live with "good enough" for too long. I needed to be shaken awake and I have a hard head so it takes quite a bit of effort to change my mind.

To Alex's point, I need to embrace my inner mingle-mangle of guts and stardust. I needed some new dreams and new drive to reach them. And that requires a little more risk than I've been taking lately. It requires a little more bravery than I've been exhibiting. Sometimes we need to be on a burning platform (please pardon this pun in light of my burned out apartment building) before we leap into the sea of possibility. So here I go - I hope those adult swimming lessons pay off.

On Tuesday, I'm attending an information session for a PhD program that I've been considering and re-considering for some time now. I've been putting it off for about a year. I'd sign up for info sessions and not go for one reason or another. One of my business school professors who I respect beyond measure has been encouraging this route since the middle of my second year at Darden. I always thought up a reason why I couldn't do it. That leap was too scary. Me, a PhD candidate? No, I can't possibly do that. I don't have the money / time / attention-span.

Then I remembered a quote I read some time ago about time and the passing of it. "Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." It's from Earl Nightingale. My best possible use is in writing, speaking, teaching, traveling and growing social change initiatives. I can't thin
k of another way to be more productive. And all of these things are made infinitely easier by going the PhD route. Or at least I have a hunch that they are. My creativity is knocking at the door, and I at least need to open the door and give her the opportunity to plead her case. I at least need to hear her out.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.


Sharnanigans said...

that is so lovely re: your friend with the cards. things like that really pick you up hey. I am a cusp aquarian /pisces (19th feb) I don't know who I am half the time but have had a little upheaval might blame Saturn, what the heck.

Christa said...

Hi Shari! Alex is amazing. I love the cards she picks out. She has a real gift for it. And she's an amazing friend.

Yes - I think we should all blame Saturn for the craziness lately. This only happens every 29 years so once we get to October 31st we'll be okay for the next 29 years :)

lindan said...

If anyone can do it, it's you Christa. You have all the energy and drive in the world and you should go for it!! You will achieve greatness.