Step 2: Working with Friends

Today I had lunch with Trevin and Blair, two of my friends whom I worked with a number of years ago. During our lunch, I was reminded of how good it feels to work with friends, to be such an integral part of their lives. I've heard some people say that it's best to keep our personal and professional lives separate. I disagree. I'd always prefer to work with friends - it makes work feel like play.

Last year I wrote a blog post that referenced an article in Fast Company about David Kelley, the Founder of IDEO. He left a mediocre management job at an engineering firm to get his MBA at Stanford. Though he had job offers after graduation, he declined them to start his own company with his friends. That company became IDEO. In the article he describes that his one strong inclination for employment was to work with friends. Had he not taken the leap and followed his instinct, he probably would be toiling away in a grey cubicle doing less-than-inspiring work. Instead, he founded a company that is arguably the finest product design firm in the world. And he has fun everyday. Bet well-played, David.

What if we could all follow our gut with David Kelley's creative confidence? What if we could turn down opportunities, as great as they seem, because they just don't jive with how we'd like to live our lives? Perhaps there's an IDEO for each of us, or at the very least a bit more happiness to be had in our careers. In 2010, I'd like to get back to a career of working with friends.

The photo above is not my own. It appears courtesy of IDEO.

My Year of Hopefulness - Spirit on Bone

"Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don't want it. What appears bad manners, an ill temper, or cynicism, is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone." ~ Miller Williams

I was struck by the last line of this quote by Miller Williams because it relates perfectly to a situation that a friend of mine encountered this week. My friend was in town for a business meeting, and when he went to say good-bye to his boss, his boss pulled out a holiday gift and card for him. The card detailed everything he admired about my friend, and given my friend's talents, I am sure that the list of admirable qualities was long. The oddest thing about this encounter is that my friend's boss never gives Christmas presents, never says what he admires about others, and would be hard pressed to give anyone a heart-felt compliment unless there was some personal gain to be had from doing so.

My friend's boss was saying good-bye with this gift and card. It appears that his boss's time is up at their company, and parting is a difficult thing for someone who thought he was playing the game by all the right rules. He probably was; the trouble is that with this economy the ground shifts so quickly, and with it the game and subsequent rules change as well. It's just that no one tells you when a change has occurred. My friend's boss learned this lesson the hard way.

For about a year, I've been upset with my friend's boss. He's been manipulative and cruel, someone who took some kind of sad, sick pleasure in making someone else feel small. He was the consummate bad cop. Now, I'm not so sure. Maybe that bad cop was a front. Maybe there was always a good guy underneath that tough veneer. Maybe there was a heart there all along.

I guess we never really know what's going on inside someone's mind and soul. All we truly know are their actions and words. I suspect that my friend's boss was motivated by fear, and that caused him to behave so badly for so long. Now his number's up, and he's regretting some of his actions and words, wishing he could change them and knowing that it is far too late to fully make amends. The gift and the card is the best he can do, and perhaps that's enough.

A number of years ago, I had a boss who impressed me with one lesson that I think about all the time. A team member of ours was horribly rude to my boss, in public, and a few days later the team member came into my boss's office to apologize. My boss accepted the apology, no questions asked. I was stunned.

"How could you do that?" I asked him.

"Christa, asking for forgiveness is the hardest thing we do in life. You have to let someone apologize. If someone has the courage to come to me and apologize, then I can have the courage to forgive them."

It was one of those light bulb moments for me and I try to keep it close to my heart, even when someone has hurt me terribly. We have to let people say they're sorry, in their own way, in their own time. Sometimes it's in the form of a present or card, as it was between my friend and his boss. Sometimes it's a phone call, or an email, or a simple face-to-face conversation. By asking for forgiveness and granting it we can help one another to ease any tension that arises where the spirit meets the bone. And that might be the greatest gift we can ever give or receive.

The images above is not my own. It can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - Take Up the Torch

“Life is no brief candle, it’s a torch. I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

I saw this quote by George Bernard Shaw on Twitter over the weekend. Someone sent it to me after reading my blog posts about my trip to Costa Rica and my plans for the future. Thinking of life as a torch, something we can and should wield as a powerful instrument to light up the world around us, reinforced my belief that if we are just subsisting and not doing our life’s work every day, then a change is necessary, sooner rather than later. As my mom often says, “we will not pass this way again. So make this pass count as much as you can.”

Yesterday a friend of mine was telling me about a conversation he recently had with his dad. His father told him that his job was my friend’s life’s work. My friend objected and then his dad asked him a few questions:

“Son, where do you spend the most hours of your day?”

“At work.”

“What do you think about for the most number of hours per day?”

“Work.”

“Then your job is your life’s work. How do you feel about that? Is it fulfilling?”

“No. I don’t get any fulfillment from it. It’s just a job,” my friend answered.

“Sounds like you better change it. You don’t want your life’s work to be just a job.”

These are harsh words that could have been said with a kinder voice, though the point is crystal clear. Where and with whom we spend most of our time is our life’s work. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about where my energy and time is spent, and what that’s accomplishing. I spend a lot of my time volunteering, and a lot of that volunteering is done in the field of education. I come alive in a classroom of any kind whether I’m the student or the teacher, and classrooms can be found throughout our communities. It’s that learning environment that is so invigorating, that gives me the most hope for our future.

And so, in the words of my friend’s father, I am about to set to work on making a change to make that time in education my life’s work. When I think about how much good can be done there, how much I have to offer in that setting, I realize that my torch is growing brighter.

The image above is not my own. It can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - When Choice and Logic Meet

"We either make ourselves happy or miserable. The amount of work is the same." ~ Carlos Castaneda, American anthropologist and author

I've been thinking a lot about work this week. Not necessarily where I am employed, but rather the broader definition of work that encompasses all of the activities that I am engaged in every day. The most valuable, affecting, satisfying work I do all day involves my writing. Whether it's on this blog, for TJCC, the fiction I'm currently working on, or my after-school program, I now know that writing is what I'm meant to do. I really can't imagine taking up another profession that doesn't have writing and content creation as its main activity.

Now I've been down this road before. I've had several opportunities to take up writing full-time and I've turned away out of fear. Again, I am at this same, familiar cross-roads: Can I jump off the cliff as so many successful writers say they ultimately had to do? We hear it all the time - lawyers who just couldn't be lawyers for one more day, doctors and nurses who couldn't work one more overnight shift, corporate employees who lost all interest in climbing any kind of ladder. They wanted so much to do something creative that they could no longer make their living any other way. Can I be that brave (or ignorant as the case may be for me)?

There are a few tough things about taking great risks, whether the risk is in our professional or personal lives:

1.) Once you jump off the cliff, you can't change your mind. You can't get back to where you were before.

2.) There are no guarantees.

3.) You won't know if it's the right choice until you actually jump.

These are weighty considerations. I think of my friend, Allan, who is very close to returning to school for a degree that he knows will lead him in the direction of his dream job. Or my friend, LT, who is a phenomenal and engaging public speaker who is beginning to lay the groundwork for his own business. Or my friend, Lissa, who left behind her work as a GYN so she could build a supportive on-line community for women and conduct self-empowerment and personal development workshops. And my dear friends, Amy and Rob, who are in the transition process from financially lucrative careers in the arts to personally fulfilling ventures in peace building and social work. I'm drawing my inspiration from them these days. "Maybe I can do this," I thought this morning in my cubicle.

The latest iteration of this thought started to take shape on Wednesday. At 10am I had a full-on argument, not raising the volume of my voice. Thank goodness it was by phone and not in person. Then someone basically told me to shut up and do what I was told. Hmmm....that doesn't exactly sit well with me. I don't do any of the things in that phrase well - I don't shut up, I don't like being told what to do if I completely disagree with it, and I certainly don't take kindly to being told to do those two things in combination. And then I completely surprised myself - I articulated with passion and clarity why I would not comply with this person's request. And my comments were met with complete silence. My friend, Jeff, calls it "The Ba-bam Response", as in "Ba-bam, take that!" In that moment, the person yelling at me is the one who sat down and I stood up, way up, perhaps as straight and tall as I have ever been.

Today I read the quote above by Carlos Castaneda, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind. Castaneda is right. To not write requires that I work very hard at something that I'd rather not do for a living, and to choose to write full-time (and make a living at it) will be a tremendous amount of work, too. So shouldn't I do a tremendous amount of work for something I really want to do rather than something I don't want to do?

I went through this same process in my personal life a few years ago. I used to be afraid, very afraid, to fall in love. I flat out refused to do it. There is a great risk involved in opening up our hearts and loving someone. We could get hurt. Very hurt. And then one day I was able to consider the alternative: if I don't open up my heart, if I never fall in love and never allow anyone to be close enough to fall in love with me then I will always be a very lonely person who feels disconnected and isolated from the world around me. This loneliness and isolation is its own kind of hurt.

So then I reasoned, "shouldn't I take the risk and open up my heart because at least in that scenario there is a chance that falling in love can bring me great happiness and joy?" Loneliness and isolation will always, certainly lead to being hurt. And with that reasoning my heart opened up. And yes, I did get hurt, many times, and I also found a lot of joy and happiness, too. Falling in love generates a much stronger likelihood for happiness than not falling in love so I could no longer keep my heart locked up inside of me. It was no longer logical to resist falling in love.

And so it goes with writing full-time, and I think that this time around, when that fork presents itself, I will choose to go down the writing road. Carlos Castaneda's quote made me realize that any other choice just doesn't make sense.

My Year of Hopefulness - Everything You Need is in Your Hands

This morning on the subway I was reading the most recent issue of Yoga Journal. Every month they feature a short daily meditation article about a mantra, and this month its about empowerment.

Sanskrit:

"Karagre vasate Lakshmi

Kara-madhye Saraswati

Kara-mule sthita Gauri

Prabhate kara-darshanam"

English:

"On the tip of my fingers is prosperity and abundance (goddess Lakshmi);

In the middle of my hand is eloquence and learning (goddess Saraswati);

At the base of my hand is divine power (goddess Gauri or Parvati).

In the morning, a vision of energy in my hands."

I'm always looking at people's hands - they tell you a lot about their lives. What they do for a living, how well they take care of themselves, how they spend their time. They show us the kind of life someone has led.

For the past week, I've felt overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness. I've felt fortunate beyond measure, as if everything I ever wanted for my life is within easy reach. The appearance of this prayer, this call to action, said everything I have been feeling in 10 Sanskrit words.

We spend so much time looking out, looking for signs that we're on the right track, going in the right direction. Really all we need to do is look as far as our own two hands and realize that there is enough power and grace within us to make the possible certain.

The photo above was taken by Paule Seux for National Geographic. It was taken in Kashmir, India.

My Year of Hopefulness - Marking time

Today is my one year anniversary at my job. Where did the time go? Oh right - into about 25 projects that I've worked on since I started! When I consider everything I've learned - about the company, the job, the industry, myself, it seems impossible that all of that could have been compressed into one year.

One year ago today, I attended a new hire orientation. A series of company leaders came into the room to speak with us and one of them said something that really stuck with me. He asked us to go up the elevator to our desks every morning with one simple question always at the top of our minds: what am I going to do to help someone live an extraordinary life today? I took that to heart, and I can say with complete honesty that I've started every day that way. It's been a tumultuous year for this country - that elevator question helped me hang on during the most challenging times to help me not only survive, but thrive. And it helped me help others do the same.

So now I begin year two, every bit as hopeful and curious as I was at the start of year one. The unintended, and happy, consequence of helping others to live an extraordinary life is that it makes our own lives extraordinary in the process. I hadn't consciously realized that until today when I looked around my office to see all the positive change that's taking place right before our eyes. And I played a part. A small one, but certainly a part. And for that I am extremely grateful. We really do get what we give.

The photo above can be found here.

NY Business Strategies Examiner - Interview with Amanda Steinberg, Founder of DailyWorth

“No one is going to fix financial inequity for women. We have to recognize our own self-worth, ask for higher salaries, invest more aggressively, and build our own wealth.” ~ Amanda Steinberg, DailyWorth Founder

For my interview with Amanda, please visit: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2901-NY-Business-Strategies-Examiner~y2009m7d15-Interview-with-Amanda-Steinberg-Founder-of-DailyWorth

My Year of Hopefulness - Harmonious Work Environments

I love to talk and on occasion someone says something to me that's so striking that I cannot let it pass without writing about it. A friend of mine recently had her supervisor tell her that she creates a work environment that is too harmonious. I was so stunned by this comment that all I could do was laugh. And once that laughter subsided, I found the very core of this comment to be highly disturbing.

The American workplace right now, particularly in large corporations, is a tough place to be every day. Layoff rounds seem never ending and are referred to with a dizzying array of synonyms: "right-sizing", "restructuring", "displacement", "down-scaling", and the list goes on. At the end of the day a lot of very talented, bright, dedicated high performers are losing their jobs. Morale is low and bad behaviors abound as a result of fear, angst, and disappointment.

Layer all of these bad sentiments into my friend's situation. Despite the fact that morale is very low at her company and the environment there is like a pressure cooker these days, she has found a way to bring some sense of harmony to her team and her projects. And the feedback to her is she creates too much harmony?! If she were ineffective at her job and unable to get anything done, I could possibly understand the feedback though that is not at all the case. She's one of the highest performers in her department, due in large part to her ability to create winning strategies that are widely supported by others.

By saying please and thank you, and recognizing the hard work of her team she is being criticized by her boss who is unable to create any kind of good will due to his bad attitude and propensity for bullying. With all the anxiety in the world, we should welcome the contributions of people who can restore a sense of order and calm, particularly in the workplace. In the case of harmony, there can't be too much of a good thing.

My Year of Hopefulness - Be the Change

I went to the Metropolitan Opera with my friend, Allan. Prior to the show, we met at the B&N on 66th Street to grab some coffee and talk about a business project he's working on. As I was standing in line, I saw a mug merchandised with that familiar saying by Gandhi "Be the Change You Wish to See in the World". I've seen it a million times before on every conceivable piece of merchandise from coffee mugs to calendars to t-shirt to bumper stickers. It's published so often that it's almost become a cliche.

So how about we take that saying and use as a discussion starter for business? We use it so often when talking about social issues, politics, the general act of living and playing a part in our communities. Now put yourself in your boss's shoes or your CEO's shoes. What is that you'd like to see your company do or say or be? And can you take those ideas and either transform your workplace or start your own company around those principles?

Here are the changes I'd like to see in the (business) world and ones I can be:
1.) A constant champion for new ideas, the crazier the better
2.) An empathic listener of all stakeholders that have anything to do with my business
3.) A cheerleader for those I know who are too afraid, nervous, shy, or embarrassed to speak up for themselves
4.) A constant confidence booster
5.) Someone who cares, all day, everyday
6.) Someone who shuts down negativity, know-it-alls, hecklers, bullies, self-proclaimed "idea guys", and other unsavory characters who kill innovation and creativity with their brash, loud-mouth personalities
7.) A connector, especially of those parties who seem disparate on the surface
8.) Committed, compassionate, concerned, open-minded who believes a discussion and a promise are far more important and useful than hours, day, and weeks spent building powerpoint slides and graphs made from colorful shapes
9.) Organized as a web rather than a pyramid

That's not a bad list. And it's not impossible to accomplish either. Best of all, business, companies, and stakeholders would be a lot better off if the world of commerce had these qualities in abundance.

My Year of Hopefulness - Impossible Standards

At first blush, the term "impossible standards" doesn't seem to have any hint of hopefulness in it. We think of demanding bosses, people who think we are never good enough, and inability to reach a set goal. Though if we took a broader view of impossible standards, we could see in the term the potential for continuous improvement, the ability to always discover something new, the opportunity for never-ending achievement.

I've been thinking a lot about this term lately. Tomorrow is my birthday, 33 (what my dear friend Brooke would call "my Jesus Year"), and it's always a time of reflection for me. Of where I'm going, where I've been, and what's good in my life. I spend an entire day not beating myself up over anything. I take the day off from work and I do exactly what I want to do. I have tremendously high standards for myself and I usually reaffirm them on my birthday. I make a commitment to continue reaching higher and higher in every aspect of my life.

I consider what's happening in our economy right now and there is one very clear take-away that emerges for me. A lot of companies and a lot of leaders took on a view of entitlement, of being above any laws or rules or ethics. They thought they were at the very top of their game, always, when in fact they just had a very low bar for themselves and for their teams.

Impossible standards keep us humble, they keep us striving and fighting for improvement. I grow concerned not when someone sets an unimaginable standard, but when someone settles for things as they are because they can't imagine ever being, doing, or having any better.

My Year of Hopefulness - Marcus Buckingham Workshop Session 2: Where Are You Now?

A few weeks after we went through the introductory session of Marcus Buckingham's on-line workshop, I finally sat down to go through session 2. Why such a gap right? Schedules, yes, but there was a larger reason to. Fear - fear of finding and discovering something new and different. Fear of change. 

Sometimes it's easier, at least in the near-term, to bury our heads in the sand and pretend everything's fine. That no improvements can or should be made. Change is painful, though it's so necessary in the long-run. Progress requires giving up the familiar and that brings with it a certain amount of anxiety. No time for dallying now - we had to jump in and get on with it. Change is coming so we might as well greet it politely at the front door rather than waiting for it to huff and puff and blow our house down. 

Session 2: Most people believe that when we consider our performance in life that we will become better people if we focus on improving our weaknesses. Marcus has a fundamentally different view. His advice is to build on our strengths and manage around our weaknesses. A meager 12% of people spend the majority of their day playing to their strengths. He's willing to give you from 8am - 11am, 25% of your day to play to things we aren't good at. And then the rest of the day must be spent on strengths.

In our society, we believe that if we study and learn about negatives, we will glean some miraculous insight into the positives. We study disease to learn about health, depression to learn about happiness and joy. There have 40,000 studies done on the topic of depression and only 400 on joy. The equation and our focus on weakness and negativity is sadly and badly tipped in the wrong direction. "You study "bad" and invert it, you don't get "good". You get "not bad." And "not bad" is not good enough. It won't give us energy. It won't make all our hard work worthwhile. And it certainly won't make us happy. 

There are a lot of people out there right now who hate their jobs. Even though they're grateful for the income with all the layoffs going on, they hate what they do. And that's the key. The three questions to ask ourselves when examining our jobs are:

1.) Why is this job important to me?

2.) Who am I going to be working with?

3.) What am I actually going to be doing?

When the "what" goes wrong, it effects the "who" and the "why". So in these times when we may be looking for a new job, the question to ask is the "what" question.  To help answer that, it's best to take a look at what invigorates us and what drains us, and then go for what invigorates us.

My Year of Hopefulness - Don't Be Less

Just when I thought life at work couldn't get much worse for my friend, John. Goodness....I couldn't make this up. I don't think the best fiction writer on the planet could make up the following story. My thanks to John for allowing me to share his experience with this blog's readers:

On Thursday morning, John woke up at an ungodly hour to catch a flight for an all-day business meeting. He arrived back to the airport later that evening with his boss and found that their flight was delayed 3 hours. His boss thought she'd take the time to provide him with some feedback on his performance. Here's the abbreviated laundry list that she expounded upon for 1.5 hours:

Too motivated

Communicates too well too often (Her quote to him, "Jesus, I'm not your texting buddy." My advice to her - then stop replying for one thing, and don't complain when you're in the dark on details, which is true just about every day.)

Has too good a relationship with senior management (a.k.a., "I feel threatened that people like you so be less likable)

Too ambitious

Takes too much responsibility and ownership for work

Too collaborative with people outside of department

Ouch - I don't even know where to begin on how pathetic and foolish this feedback is. Essentially John is supposed to be less of a person than he is because it makes others uncomfortable to be in the presence of someone who is talented and hardworking. This is gross - I'm so furious by these comments that I can barely speak. 

Being a pro, or numb from exhaustion, John took the entire conversation in stride and stood his ground, politely. His only response: "This is so odd. No other company that I have ever worked for, or even heard of,  tells its people to be less collaborative and less motivated." And that's it. He let it lie. Didn't agree, didn't really say much of anything. He was too shocked and confused. 

Here is my advice to John and anyone else in this situation: you are NOT to compromise your integrity. Ever. For any reason. You are not to be less of a person to make others feel better about themselves. Their laziness and lack of motivation is their problem, not yours, so don't take it on, politics and "business as usual" be damned. Your job is to shine as brightly as you can and add value to the people and the environment around you. That is your only obligation, ever. Smile, hold your head up and be proud of yourself. And write down all the things you are and are not. Keep the list handy and refer to it often. 

If President Obama has taught us anything it is that the time for change has come. Throw off the yolk of being what to do when by people who want you feel less empowered so they can feel more powerful. The feudal system died out centuries ago and there is no chance of resurrection. This is the time of the individual, and don't let anyone tell you differently. 

My Year of Hopefulness - True Colors

Disappointment of any kind is difficult. If we have believed in, or loved, or respected, or trusted someone who then does something to betray our belief, love, respect or trust, it is hard to find any bright side to the situation. We may feel like we are bad judges of character, too naive, too trusting. 

There is a bright side though. There always is - it often just takes more work and effort and faith to find it when we're in darkness. What if we never knew what another person was really like, good or bad? What if we never trusted someone enough, never trusted ourselves enough to get close to people and learn what they really stand for, how they really think and feel? It would be a lonely life. 

The trade-off for not feeling lonely and being close to others is that on occasion, some of those people, a small minority of them, will fail us. Some people that we think well of will let us down. And some times in a few very rare instances, that connection to that trusted person will be irreparable. This price is worth it though when we look around at all the people we have trusted and loved and can appreciate how full and rich our lives are as a result of those people.

And there is one additional bright side to betrayal as well: it opens the way for us to make room for others who will come into our lives some time down the road. I think of it as clearing out the cobwebs, getting my priorities back in line. We no longer need to invest in someone who disappointed us - we can just let them go.

I was talking this through with my friend, John, who has a less-than-satisfying job. He realized just today that a boss he has been slaving away for has hung him and his team out to dry to the company's leadership. And what's worse: his boss is proud of this. I guess he feels more powerful for having done so. John feels terrible though the good thing that he discovered is that he knows who his boss really is now. He had been staying at this company because he felt a sense of obligation to this boss; now he is free from that obligation. It's a hard truth to face down, though clearly necessary. 

My mom has a great saying that she picked up from my grandmother and I am reminded of it every time I hear bad things happen to good people like John. My mom and grandmother say, "God writes straight through crooked lines." Even if you don't believe in God, the sentiment holds. Things happen in our world to send us on one course or another. Our lives flex and change. Joy is found when we can smile through that flex and change and be grateful for the the truth, even if that truth is painful. Joy's not easy though it is always attainable as long as we can find reason and something to learn in every situation. 

My Year of Hopefulness - Stage Fright

Today, the theatre group joined, Temporary Shakespeare Company, had its first performance. We did a reading of Comedy of Errors for corporate employees at my company. All morning, I was reminded of how it felt to be on stage and why I didn't pursue that avenue. I have horrible, horrible stage fright. Always. Without fail. 

Today, the stakes were even higher because I played a sorceress in front of people I work with, obviously in a very different capacity. Somehow, standing on that stage with all these other people taking the same risk made my stage fright dissipate. I didn't shake, I didn't feel sick to my stomach. We jumped off the cliff together. And the audience, our co-workers, caught us. 

And maybe that's all it takes to make us let go of our fear, whether on stage or off: a group of people willing to let go of their fear, too.

My Year of Hopefulness - Change of Behavior

In my quest to cultivate more hope for myself and for others, I have recognized that there will be set-backs and that those set-backs will create opportunities for learning and reflecting. I had one of those moments today. Or rather, a friend of mine relayed a story to me that set my hope back a bit. 

John, my graphic design friend, deals with a tough work situation. Right before Christmas, he was really in dire straights. He was very discouraged by an abusive and unappreciative boss, and given the economy his prospects for leaving are bleak. To his surprise when he returned after the holiday break, his boss was different. Kinder, more appreciative, more team-oriented. For a week and a half. And today his boss flipped the switch. 

For a week and half, John was more hopeful about his job. Maybe things would be looking up for him and his team. And then it all unraveled and John felt like it was December 18, 2008 all over again. 

The lesson here is that no behavior change, positive, negative, or indifferent, is immediate. No one comes back to any situation with a completely new attitude. Behavioral changes take time and patience and practice. In all likelihood, John's boss's behavior is not going to change overnight, or over Christmas for that matter. I only had one piece of advice for him: take the long view. 

For him, this is a stable job in a tough economy and it's a good resume and portfolio-builder. This tough time will pass and we will be better people for persevering. At least that's what I tell myself - it's what I have to tell myself. Sometimes hope, unbridled, unreasonable, unreliable hope, can be the only thing we have. And sometimes, that's enough. It has to be enough because it's all we've got.  

My Year of Hopefulness - A Change of Self and Not a Change of Scene

I was speaking to a friend of mine tonight about how difficult it can be to get our head back in the game of work after the holidays. I'll admit that I felt a tiny pang of dread this morning when my alarm went off this morning. Some people say they never know what they'd do with themselves if they retired. I'm not one of those people. I can happily fill any day with activities I love sans work. 

My friend had the same feeling this morning, wishing that she could turn off the alarm and happily snuggle back under the covers to sleep a bit more. No such luck. So with one heavy foot in front of the other she got onto the subway and made her way downtown to work, like so many of us this morning. She was pleasantly surprised to find that EVERYONE at work was cheerful and pleasant. All traces of stress and grumpiness that descended on her off right before Christmas had dissipated. It was the same office space with a whole new collective attitude. 

It's possible, even in bleak times, to change our scene by changing ourselves. By choosing to look up while also reaching down. We can take other people with us into a new attitude. It's not easy work. Changing the way we look at a situation or at a person, even if that person has caused us some kind of grief in the past, can work wonders to move us forward. Extend your heart and mind toward the sentiment that brings more comfort to your daily life and you will be amazed by the feeling of well-being that you'll find.   

Dreamers and Doers

Big companies are announcing layoffs right and left, and those who do keep their jobs are being asked to do evermore work without any pay increase, bonus, or title promotion. We have felt very secure at big companies because in large part they have taken good care of their people and rewarded loyalty. With this latest downturn, we are seeing people with 10+ years of service turned out, replaced by younger and less expensive employees. The game has changed.

Here is the reason for hope in all of this economic mess. Maybe, finally, people will begin working very hard for themselves and not for these large companies. Perhaps we will begin to place more trust and faith in ourselves than we do in these behemoth organizations. One observation my former boss, Bob, made about a year ago is that the difference between generations these days is that young people, by and large, will bet on themselves rather than bet on a corporation to make their careers. 

In today's New York Times there is an article entitled "Dreamers and Doers" that discusses entrepreneurship programs and classes on college campuses. They have experienced double digit growth in the past few years, and some colleges like Babson have become known for their entrepreneurship programs.

It is my greatest wish for the economy of 2009 that all of this corporate downsizing sparks a surge in entrepreneurship and innovation by small companies. Will giant corporations that have long dominated the business landscape go the way of the dinosaurs? Maybe. Think of all the talented, capable, well-educated people that are now being laid off. If they banded together to create something new, leaving behind the saddle of corporate politics and bureaucracy, couldn't they be more productive? 

Supporting small business may be President Obama's shortest road to economic recovery, and we would all be better off for it.   

My Year of Hopefulness - Marcus Buckingham Workshop Session 1: Introduction

I've previously written about Marcus Buckingham on this blog - his writing has been very influential on the way I live my life and build my career. He is a career guru and has dedicated his life to helping people live their best lives. Oprah recently featured him on one of her shows. He did a three-hour workshop with a group of women who want to improve their lives from a career standpoint. These women felt overwhelmed, anxious, off balance, and sometimes very unhappy with their jobs.

As a gift to viewers who want to live their best lives in 2009, Marcus Buckingham and Oprah filmed the entire three hours session, broke it down into 8 different classes, and put all of them on-line for free with resources and class materials. You can download them to your ipod, watch them, or listen to them on your computer. It's as if you are sitting in a classroom with one of the most world-renowned thinkers on living a strengths-based life. And it's incredible. 

I just completed session 1 - The Introduction with two of my friends, John and Ellen. Three basic question for everyone in the class: What is your name? What are you paid to do? Why are you here? As part of this blog, I will detail what I'm thinking, experiencing, and feeling in each one of these classes and John and Ellen have agreed to allow me to share the specifics of their situations on this blog. 

To take the class, please visit the link on Oprah's website: http://www.oprah.com/package/money/career/pkgmarcus/20080401_orig_marcusbuckingham

Here is my own mini-class that will be featured on this blog:

Name: Christa

Paid to do?: Product Development

Here because?: My day is filled with lots of tasks I don't want to do

Name: John

Paid to do?: Graphic Design

Here because?: Feels like he is wasting time with a company that has no advancement opportunities. Job is mostly executional, not strategic. Culture is siloed and not collaborative. A lot of in-fighting at his current firm. Many people don't want the responsibility of making decisions, but want credit when something goes right. 

Name: Ellen

Paid to do?: Nonprofit fundraiser

Here because?: Doesn't feel that her current company is creative, innovative, or motivated to improve. Decision-making processes in the organization are very slow and misguided. Her opinions are not listened to by her boss. She works with great people, though is not enjoying working for her boss as there is very little mentorship. 

Once a week, I will be sharing our stories as we continue through the remaining sessions of this class with Marcus Buckingham. If you decide to take it and would like to share your thoughts on the classes, I'd love to have you comment on this blog! Here's to living our best lives in 2009!

Trust and learning in a time of change

"But never forget ... our mission is to recognize contraries for what they are: first of all as contraries, but then as opposite poles of a unity." ~ Herman Hesse

There's a lot of tension flying around companies at the moment. This holiday shopping season, and the financial results it generates for companies, will lead to some potentially scary decisions in January. If you feel everyone holding their breathe until the new year, you're not alone. The pressure and fear is immense and wide-spread.

This morning, I read my Daily Good email that highlight a Harvard Business Review article about trust in a time of extreme mistrust, and leading change in a time of change - both incredibly difficult things to do and quite frankly two things that many managers are not good (although they don't always know that but their team does.) For example, some managers think they're change agents simply because they question everything. The fine line that separates change agents from managers who only ear what they want to hear is how they ask the question and what their end-goal is. A change agent wants to examine possibilities, dig in to the issue, and examine detail in an effort to fully understand the issue at hand so a collaborative solution can be found. They take a balanced approach. 

Managers who hear only what they want to hear, also ask a lot of questions but ignore any of the details of what they're asking for. These are the "I don't care what it takes, just make it happen" managers. They will steamroll over their people, squeeze change out them, and then sit back quite proud of themselves of how they've transformed the group. Unfortunately that transformation came at the group's expense, not to their benefit. And if you have one of these managers, I am very sorry. Truly. I know where you're coming from and so do most of my friends. You are in a no-win situation because there is no reasoning with that kind of manager. Your leader doesn't have balance, and without balance that person cannot lead effectively, much less mentor you.  

So what can you do? Reach out, way out, in your organization. Extend the olive branch at every turn, whether the person is in your group or not. Take this time to expand your network - you'll feel better meeting new people in your organization that may have nothing to do with your job now, but could in the future. You can find solace in partnership, strength in unity. And that solace and unity is what's going to get you through this economic bust. 

The other thing you can do is focus on the learning, not the bad behavior your fearful manager is exhibiting. Bob, one of my former bosses, gave me this counsel and I think of it all the time. He would say that no matter what happened to him in his career, good or bad, he knew it was all good learning and it made him a better person and a better manager in the end. Take this time to think about how important it is to build trust with the people you work with and for, and go out and exhibit that trust while also relying on your skills and ingenuity that will help you persevere. It's a tough road, I know, but at this point it may be the only way forward.   

The photo above can be found at: http://www.smartgivers.org/sites/623b9026-c292-4f47-9b9d-8aac6d22782d/uploads/Trust.1_2.jpg

10,000 hours

Malcolm Gladwell just released a new book, Outliers. He takes a look at the lives, circumstances, and personality traits of remarkably successful, productive people who make a significant impact in the world. One point that I found particularly interesting is his views on intelligence and diligence.

A certain level of intelligence and education gets an individual to a certain degree of success. However, to get any further, it's actually diligence that carries them. Specifically 10,000 hours of diligence in our chosen field is absolutely necessary if we wish to make a significant impact there. Now, just putting in the hours toiling away in a cube is not a sure-fire plan. You still need that degree of intelligence, and 10,000 hours in the minimum investment necessary.

This particular stat caught my interest because I, like many in my generation, am a job hopper. I have been blessed to have discovered one good opportunity after another in very quick succession. I see a greener pasture and I go for it. That's not to say that every move was a marvelous idea. Most were, though there were some duds to. What is true is that they have all been critical component of a very interesting path that I built for myself.

Now I have a job in a field that utilizes all of the skills I amassed through a variety of different jobs. All the time I put in at my other positions provided the experience to get me to this place, but my accumulation of those 10,000 hours began only recently. Perhaps without knowing it, Malcolm Gladwell made a very profound statement directly to my generation. "Hop around to find your passion. That's fine. But once you find that passion it takes staying power to make it to the top of the heap." Wise counsel, intended or not, and I'm very grateful to him for it.