My Year of Hopefulness - Getting the Most Out of Your Days

"Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week's value out of a year while another man gets a full year's value out of a week." ~ Charles Richards

I am obsessed with productivity. (On occasion, I have spent an afternoon watching an Ace of Cakes marathon on the Food Network. Guilty as charged - what can I say? I love cake.) 95% of the time, I'm doing something that I hope will help move my life forward. Reading, writing, connecting with others, visiting museums, exercising, meditating, running, cooking, and observing life. I am an expert scheduler and I strive to be a model of efficiency.

So why is progress so important to me? Why can't I just slow down and go with the flow? Why must I be constantly engaged? Part of it is that I am hopelessly nerdy and have been since birth. 'Why?' is my favorite question, and I ask it loud, proud, and often. It's a reflex. I have an overwhelming desire to be in the know, or at least to try to be in the know. The words "I'm bored" have never crossed my mind, much less come out of my mouth.

The other reason for my constant activity is something more serious. For better or for worse, I am constantly mindful of my age and of the time that's passing. Some people will say that those who are young don't appreciate their youth or their health. They think they'll be beautiful forever. I know it's all fading. Every day I'm looking for a wrinkle, a grey hair, a loss of ability. My WebMD checking can get a bit out of hand from time to time. I was born thinking like an old person, so much so that I am often surprised to look in the mirror and see someone so young.

My siblings and I lost a lot of our family members at a very young age, and those losses stick with us. They changed us. As teenagers, we became painfully aware that life is finite, at least in the form in which we know it. And while I could easily become consumed by the fear of time passing by, instead I focus on making every moment count.

There's a saying that goes something like "if you live a good life, you'll be able to enjoy it twice: once as you're living it when you're young, and again when you're looking back on it when you're old." Given my love of efficiency, this sounds like a great deal to me - I'll get two good lives for the price of one! That's well-worth the effort.

Moving forward from where you are

I've been really frustrated as of late by a project I just took over from a colleague. I have been dwelling on the phrase "At the beginning, we should have..." And you know what? It's not productive. It's actually counter-productive and it's wearing me down. I'm sick of hearing myself talk about how frustrated I am. Imagine how my friends and family feel?

I woke up a little yesterday after an email from my mom. My best friend from childhood just lost her 27 year old cousin to cancer. My very dear friend, Ken, just had to put his mom into hospice. I have friends that are losing their jobs thanks to this financial crisis we're now in, and they don't know when they'll be seeing a paycheck again. And I'm whining, literally whining, from my comfy couch in my comfy apartment after a day of work at a great company with a great brand. At the moment, I can't stand myself. As my friend Kelly says, "I need to give myself a "cut it out." "

By being so stuck on what other people should have done or should have considered,etc., I'm not moving forward. I'm treading water and quite frankly doing a lousy job of it. Now ,to be fair to myself, as my mother would ask me to be, I want to make sure these learnings are captured and put to good use in the very-near future. Yep, there were definitely mistakes that were made at the start of this project 6 months ago. And we're paying a big price tag, literally and figuratively. No doubt about it. But I can't change those mistakes. They've been made and we have to go from where we are. I've got the project now and no matter what the earlier decisions, I need to keep driving forward, eyes on the prize - which is straight ahead, not in the rearview mirror. 

I find an area that needs improvement, I jot it down, and I keep moving. I have to keep moving. My whining and internal negativity is weighing me down, in a time when I cannot afford the extra mental pounds. I need to get this project out the door so I can move on to other projects where I will be able to start from the beginning and draw on the learnings from this current project. 

We all learn by doing, and in the doing, we screw up now and then. It happens to all of us, regardless of intelligence or experience or motivation. It's all part of the process, and if you don't let the process play out, you are doomed to remain in it like a hamster in a wheel. And who wants to keep treading the same ground again and again when there are so many places to see?! 

The image above can be found at http://www.foundlocally.com/Graphics/General/Hiker.jpg

In Praise of Emptiness

I'm looking at my to-do lists for the weekend. 23 items, some of them time consuming. And this is just a typical low-key weekend for me. No traveling, I'm not hosting any event, none of the tasks require advanced preparation. 23 items - exactly who do I think I am that I can finish a first week of a job, jam pack my weekend, and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for Monday morning?

This week in the New York Times, there was an article entitled "A Place and an Era in Which Time Could Stand Still". It discusses the need to let kids have some time with nothing to do during summer camp rather than cramming activity after activity into their days. And this consideration is worth a look for adults, too, especially those engaged in creative pursuits. We need time to let our task-master minds unwind if we are to get at our best creative thinking. It's buried beneath all of our to-do lists and action items.     

Why do we keep doing this to ourselves? Why are we obsessed with the need to be productive at every moment. Our European neighbors have a way of looking at life that is practically the antithesis of the American view - they enjoy life and the people around them. They savor the experience of life and the simple happiness that comes from lingering over a cup of coffee and a good book in an outdoor cafe. We chug the coffee and speed read the book in a packed subway car. Is it any wonder that we are dealing with so many health issues and a general lack of enjoyment in this country?

Recognizing this need to unwind, the editors at Real Simple Magazine put together a 14-day stress detox program. I looked for an on-line link but the list is only available in print and includes things like taking time to be grateful and investing a little time in gardening of any kind, even if it's just a windowsill house plant. It's well worth the look with one caveat - I would recommend stretching out the changes and enjoying them, reflecting on them, and fully ingesting their meaning and power. The last thing we need is another deadline and a another item on a rushed to-do list.