My Year of Hopefulness - The high value of giving

Finally settled into my dear friend, Rob's, apartment for the week, I am feeling an immense sense of calm. As the last of my belongings were expertly ushered out of my old apartment with the greatest of care by the movers, I was doing a little dance of gratitude.

My friend, Dan, was one of the people who recommended Flat Rate Moving to me, and I texted him to ask how much I should tip them. We went back and forth several times about an appropriate amount. Finally, Dan said "In these situations I reason that they need it more than I do, so I round up." I emptied my wallet to double the going industry tip rate (which Dan also looked up for me on the fly, as well as surveying everyone in his office on the spot.) They deserved it.

I swept up the last of the dust bunnies, and grabbed a cab cross-town to Rob's. Given the gridlock traffic, I had a lot of time to think about giving more than the going rate for exceptional circumstances. Whether it's a tip to movers or the amount of time and attention to a valuable friendship, it feels good to give far beyond the usual.

So what if we always gave a little more than what was warranted? A little more care, energy, effort, passion, time, and money? What if we shared beyond what would ever be expected by others? Imagine how much further along we'd be. It seems to me that the only way we're ever going to have a life and a world that's exceptional is to give and give and give again. More than we're asked, and maybe even more than we think we're capable of.

My Year of Hopefulness: Showing others what they're made of

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli

In many instances, it’s easy to share. All we need is a bit of motivation and some generosity. Write a check to a charity, show someone how to do something you already know how to do, share knowledge by posting on a blog. Sharing is a small, often painless and free, gesture. Anyone from any socioeconomic level, of any age, in any geographic location on Earth can do it.

What Benjamin Disraeli is talking about is more substantive. It requires more commitment, more dedication, more patience than sharing alone. Revealing your own gifts and using them for the benefit of others is done over and over again every day in every corner of the world. To help someone else realize their own potential, to cultivate someone else’s knowledge and creativity, to give them the confidence to go out into the world and make an impact is something that needs much more time, intention, and attention.

The payback for helping an individual or an organization help others is immense, much greater than if we only share what we’ve got. There’s a multiplicative effect. We help someone help several others who in term each help several others and so on. Consider it a pyramid scheme of generosity, something the world desperately needs now more than ever.

Of course the best of all possible scenarios is that by sharing what we’ve got, we inspire others to share. Think about teachers, writers, and artists, and how they inspire the imaginations of others. Consider how small acts of kindness inspire the “pay it forward” mentality. While giving and sharing are important actions for each of us to take, we also need to encourage and teach them to others in our lives.

Celebrating "Small"

A few weeks ago I was taking the bus cross town, or at least attempting to, in the pouring rain. I was dashing down the flooded streets, chasing after the bus I needed to catch. Thankfully another person was in the same boat, or so I thought. He banged on the door of the bus to stop it. For me. And he continued on his way under a half sagging umbrella. I breathlessly thanked him. "No problem." he said.

In the late summer, I was walking a few blocks to meet my friends at the Boat Basin. A "Not in Service" bus stopped and asked me how far I had to go. He offered to take me over there. "But you're out of service," I said. "Don't worry about it," he replied, "I don't mind." He dropped me off as close to the Boat Basin as possible and didn't even ask me to swipe my Metrocard.

Today I walked outside, very early in the morning and more than a little grumpy. An older woman was struggling to scrape off the thick ice that coated her car. A stranger pulled up to the curb and offered to scrape the car for her. The woman was overwhelmed with the offer of help. I smiled and felt a little more hopeful about the world. 

I was saying good-bye and happy holidays to some of my co-workers today. And I was quite speechless to have one of them say to me, "You, Christa, were the bright spot of 2008 for me. In a year that is so challenging on every front, I am so thankful for you." I didn't even know how to respond. I never would have expected to have made any kind of impact close to that.

It's these small acts of kindness and concern that make all the difference in our existence, in our experience of life. While grand gestures are certainly well-received, I always find that it's the small and heartfelt moments that I retain and cherish most. My new year's resolution is very simple - it is to celebrate and savor these small gifts, understand how little effort it really takes to make someone else's day, and to recognize that I can create those moments for others on a continuous basis. In short, I'd like to feel more hopeful and generate more hope for others.