My Year of Hopefulness - We Could Learn a Lot from the Muppets

On Sunday night I watched A Very Merry Muppet Christmas on TV. Kermit and his pals realize their dream of having their own theatre only to have it threatened by a scheming landlord who wants to shut them down to open a posh new nightclub. Kermit blames himself for losing the fight to save the theatre, confiding to an angel that he wishes he was never born.

As the story unfolds, we see how the lives of his friends would have been different without Kermit. All of them, without question, would have achieved far less without Kermit as their friend. Through this lesson, the angel teaches Kermit that our actions and words have a greater impact on people than we realize - a good lesson for all of us. This lesson prodded me to think of all the ways in which we influence one another.

The encouragement that we offer to others, our belief in one another's abilities to create change, and our own willingness to take a stand on issues of great importance all have deeper reaching impact than we know. With our words we can foster dreams, ours and those of others. Our simple belief that someone else can achieve a lofty goal can provide a much needed boost to someone who lacks personal confidence. If and how we work on issues such as healthcare, education, poverty, and the environment conveys who we are on a very deep and personal level.

Not only do our actions and words have impact, but our lack of action and the sentiments we do not convey have an impact as well. When a friend or colleague turns to us for help and support, do we stand with them or do we turn away? When someone tells us they don't think they can achieve their dream, do we doubt them or do we encourage them? When something in our community, or in the world at-large, has gone haywire, do we accept the current situation as is or do we decide to change it?

Our answers to these questions also reveal our integrity of character. So often, we think life lessons have to come from books of philosophy or in the classrooms of the Ivy League. My experience yesterday watching the Muppets reminded me that inspiration exists all around us, in every conversation, in every TV viewing, and in everyday experiences. We would be wise and the world would be a better place if we could pay greater attention to the callings and reminders that show up at our door all the time. We never know what pearl of wisdom may fall from the lips of a lovable, unassuming frog.

The photo above is not my own. It can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - You Get What You Give

"What I know for sure is that what you give comes back to you." ~ Oprah Winfrey

I'm off to Costa Rica tomorrow on a volunteer project with Cross-Cultural Solutions. A lot of people have asked me why I chose to do a volunteer vacation. Why would I spend my vacation working? There are several small reasons: I did a volunteer vacation in the south of France in 2005 and loved it, it's a great way to truly experience the culture of a new country, it's a fun way to travel alone without being alone, and I enjoy meeting new people more than I enjoy just about anything else. The true reason I'm volunteering on vacation? It's good for the world - Oprah's right, as usual. What we give comes back to us, and I would add that it comes back to us 10-fold.

Though I am volunteering to help others, truly it's me that I'm helping. I am certain that the Cross-Cultural Solutions program will teach me and help me far more than I could ever teach or help anyone else. It's an interesting fact about service - you go into it to help others and you're the one who ends up with the greatest benefit from the work. In theory, this doesn't make sense. In practice, it is most certainly true.

For the past few months I've heard a lot of people wishing out loud. They need a better job, a better place to live, better relationships, better health. They have spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to acquire these things, and I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I can help them. I wonder if service might be the best remedy for wishing.

I wonder if it's really true that what we seek for ourselves we can obtain by providing that very thing for someone else. Love, confidence, money, health, a positive outlook on life, trust, friendship, courage. Our list of wishes is never-ending, and therefore the number of opportunities for service is unlimited. How do our lives change if we take on the view "we only get what we give"? And in the process, how can this view change the whole world? I'll let you know if I find some answers in Costa Rica. Talk to you tomorrow from beautiful Cartago!

My Year of Hopefulness - One Life at a Time

"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds." ~ Sam Adams

It's a glorious thing to get to live a day exactly the way we want it to be. This weekend, I'll be trying on the costume of a full-time entrepreneur. I'm getting ready to send my after-school program proposal to public school principals. Checking every "i" and "t" in the proposal, researching the best fit schools to target, and beginning to write the curriculum. I'm already fantasizing about spending tomorrow at my kitchen table, writing while the afternoon sun softly filters through the windows. It will be glorious.

Except when I'm scared, which I often am, when considering this proposal. If I think for too long about the task before me, my stomach starts doing back flips and my eyes well up. There are so many kids who have so little and need so much. I'm one person, with one little project. What kind of impact will that have when I consider that I want to reach hundreds of thousands, millions, of kids around the world? I am one small person. When I'm alone, this thought comes to the forefront of my mind and is undeniable.

I was just on the phone with someone, explaining why this project is so important, why it matters, and why I have to do this now. As I spoke, I felt the strength rising within me, the tears of frustration turned to tears of possibility and hope and dreams realized. And then he said something to me that I wish I could box up and carry around with me forever. Something that Jane Goodall communicated last night, too. He said that while I might need to pour everything I've got into this curriculum, that's only half of the program. The other half will be the love I give while teaching. Love I can give - I know I'm good at that. So now I know I'm already halfway there.

Last night, the 92Y had a slide show running with quotes and photos of Jane Goodall pertaining to her work around the world. One quote that struck me so hard was one in which she talked about having goals with a wide-reaching impact. "Although the challenges seem daunting at times, this is ultimately the only way to make lasting change – one life at a time." My pilot program is for 10 kids, barely a drop in the bucket compared to how many need this program. My hope is that those 10 will help others in turn, and so on. We'll use leverage and multiplicative efforts to achieve this ideal of helping every kid grow up to be a productive, creative, empowered adult.

Yes the challenges are daunting. They're downright overwhelming. I know in my heart that we can do this, that a small group of passionate people can start to set the world going in the right direction. Simply put, that's all I'm trying to do.

My year of Hopefulness - It's More than Just Business

I got my MBA from the Darden School at the University of Virginia. When I began there, I thought I was going to learn about Finance and Accounting and Strategy. I thought I was going there to increase my business acumen and break out of the hum drum of middle management. I did all those things, though that wasn’t the important stuff of an MBA, not by a long shot.

This morning on the subway, I worked my way through the rest of this month’s issue of Yoga Journal. There is a beautiful article about the use of yoga in prisons that helps to rehabilitate and treat young offenders. Yoga asks us to scan our bodies, to delve deep into who we are and how we want the world to be. It empowers us. It calms us down by giving us a sense of “otherness” – the ability to view our lives from an objective third party perspective.

In yoga, we find the gratitude to appreciate the good around us, the fortitude to survive challenging times with grace, and the confidence to recognize that “if it is to be, it’s up to me.” This is exactly the message we all need to hear, and a particularly profound way of thinking for young offenders. No one is beyond forgiveness or change. It is never too late. Young offenders need to know this.

The article goes on to talk about nonprofits who are providing yoga classes in prisons, one of them being Mind Body Awareness (MBA) Project. The name gave me pause. I always associate the combination of the letters MBA with “Masters of Business Administration”. Reading this article and recognizing MBA Project’s mission and value gave me a whole new way of thinking about these letters, and my Darden degree.

Much more than analytical skills, contacts, and opportunity, my MBA and Darden offered me a mind body awareness connection as well. It’s where I first taught full yoga classes on a regular basis. It’s where I realized that I could be anything and do anything I wanted. It’s where I realized how connected all of life’s moments are. It’s where I gained a true appreciation for my own personal history, the histories of others, and how they intertwine so beautifully. At Darden, I first became a published writer. I started my blogging there, as well as my interest in social media. I learned that every day we have an opportunity for a fresh start, to learn something new, to be happy, healthy, and grateful. At Darden, I found the seed of what I wanted my life to be in every facet, and I’ve been nurturing it daily ever since.

My Year of Hopefulness - Our Best Help

"Anybody can serve....You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I've been doing some work with New York Women Social Entrepreneurs (NYWSE), a group dedicated to helping women launch and run successful social enterprises that have a profound impact on our society. Through a recent NYWSE event, I found A. Lauren Abele's blog. Lauren "is an economic development program assistant at a community development nonprofit in Brooklyn. By night, Lauren volunteers with other nonprofits helping them with fund development, strategic planning, and social media. She is one of the 2009 NYWSE Mastermind-Mentoring Initiative (MMI) graduates and big-time NYWSE advocate."

This week she posted her thoughts on how best to help a cause you care about. Her post really resonated with me. In relation to my post from yesterday about doing things we don't know how to do, Lauren advocates for helping the cause, any cause that interests us, by channeling our own special gifts and talents. If we want to make a difference, we can figure out how best to do that by delving deep within our own hearts. Just begin. We best help the cause by being who we are.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about fitting into a form versus creating a form around our own passions. It's a very different intention, a very different way of considering service. If we approach service first from the perspective of "what do I love to do, what am I good at, and when am I happiest?" and then find the circumstances that best showcase those activities, we'll achieve our highest potential.

Lauren's shining a light on something very profound. Consider this: let's say that you are passionate about the environment. There are so many options for you to really lend a hand to this cause. You could work with your local park or community garden. You could organize a recycling event in your neighborhood. You could support local farmers. You could write about the cause, sharing your knowledge and interest in the subject with others. There a million ways to play a part - all that's required is that you care and then channel that care into an activity that brings you joy.

It sounds so simple and yet we spend so much time trying to do what's "right" for the cause, what we think the cause needs, rather than taking what we do well and doing that for the cause's benefit. Really what's right for the cause is that we just be present, that we contribute in some way that's uniquely, beautifully us.

The image above can be found here.

My Year of Hopefulness - Everyone Has Something to Offer

Tonight's Making a Difference segment on NBC featured Coach Tim, a man who grew up in the Compton neighborhood of Los Angeles. Compton is now known as a haven of drugs, gangs, and violence. When Coach Tim was growing up, he played baseball in Compton - on a baseball diamond that was abandoned decades ago. He returned to the neighborhood after years of his own troubles - drugs, alcohol - to revive that baseball diamond into his own field of dreams for kids growing up on the same streets where he was raised.

The segment was enough to make any viewer choke up with emotion - and then, the real kicker. Coach Tim is homeless. For two years, he's lived in his car. At night, he watches Dodgers games on his portable TV and reads the Bible for strength to get through another day. He could go to a shelter, though because he knows he got himself into his situation, he wants to get himself out of it without public assistance.

Those kids on his baseball team serve a larger purpose in his life - they give him a reason for being, for getting out into the world. They give him a way to do some good in a neighborhood that is faced with so much difficulty and saddness and loss. He's keeping those kids from going down a path that he and so many of his childhood friends took simply because they didn't know any better.

Coach Tim's story made me think about how much we all have to offer, regardless of our situation, means, and history. Or maybe, like Coach Tim, we all have something to give precisely because of our history and situation. To make a difference in your neighborhood, visit Volunteer Match, Serve.org, or United Way.

My Year of Hopefulness - A Hero Arrives

Today I watched The Tale of Despereaux, a movie adapted from the book by Kate DiCamillo. The movie chronicles the the adolescence of Despereaux, a brave little mouse in search of adventure and harmony between disparate parties. He is someone who does not want to be defined by others, regardless of the consequences for being who is naturally born to be.

Very early on in the movie, there is a line that really struck a cord with me: "A hero shows up when the world really needs one." I can think of no better time than now for heroes to rise up and be counted. The world has some very large problems today - far larger than I think we even know. And these problems are in every city and town, of every variety and every magnitude. No matter what contribution you would like to make to the world, in whatever field you choose, wherever you live, there is a way to make an enormous difference if only we have the courage to put ourselves out there and the desire to be responsible and accountable.

Thomas Friedman gave the commencement speech at RPI in 2007. Recognizing the desire and energy of young graduates to have an impact on their communities, he threw down the gauntlet to them in no uncertain terms. "If it’s not happening, it’s because you’re not doing it,” he said. “There is no one else in the way." Technology has vastly our ability to communicate and influence with ease if we have a convincing, passionate story. It's easier to be a hero today than it has been at any other time in history if only we see ourselves in this light.

My Year of Hopefulness - Miami Gardens, FL

Tonight on NBC Nightly News, the featured the city of Miami Gardens, Florida on their "What Works" segment. Shirley Gibson, the woman who is responsible for its creation 6 years ago, isn't one to take responsibility lightly. She was a police officer for 17 years, a small business owner for 15 years, and determined to help build a city that provided its residents, all 110,000 of them, with good quality services. Crime is down 22% and the city is now focusing heavily on improving education. Shirley Gibson is now running for Congress. Despite people who said Miami Gardens would never be because people in that area would never pay for services, residents agreed to double their property tax to improve the community.

Miami Gardens is a living, breathing example of what can happen in a community when people take pride in where they live. They ignored naysayers and refused to believe that they could never have a brighter tomorrow. They rose up together, putting their heart, hopes, and earnings on the line for one another. It's an incredible testament to the power of organizing and a long-term vision. Miami Gardens prove that anything, and everything, is possible.

My Year of Hopefulness - Women in Need

Yesterday I participated in an event at work as part of my women's networking group. We provided workshops, some career coaching, and a healthy dose of encouragement to women who are in homeless shelters, unemployed, and who need a hand up in life. My networking group goes by the acronym WIN (Women's Integration Network).

I had volunteered to have a 1-on-1 lunch with one of the women who were visiting our office for the day. I was paired up with a woman who had an 11 year old daughter. Married, both she and her husband have been unemployed for some time. No college education, with a goal of being a social worker. We were joined by another woman who didn't have a lunch buddy. She had an 11 year old brother she was taking care of as well as a 1 year old daughter. She lives in a homeless shelter and began taking care of her brother after her mother had a nervous break-down. The father of her child is incarcerated, out of the picture. She hasn't had work in a while either, citing affordable and hard-to-come-by childcare as a major obstacle. She wants to go to school to be a nurse. Both are 25 years old.

What was I going to say to these women? How could I relate? How could I even begin to understand how difficult it is for them to just get up out of bed in the morning?

And then one of the women, the one who wants to be a nurse, said to me "Your name tag - you're from Women in Need." (Women In Need is the community group they belong to that helps these women find jobs, get money for school, and provides emotional support.)

"No, I work here in this office building," I replied.

"But your name tag says - WIN. That stands for Women in Need."

"Oh! That's also the acronym for our internal networking group here at this company. It stands for Women's Integration Network."

And with that simple revelation, I realized these women were not very different from me at all. My mom raised by sister, brother, and I on her own, no college education. We struggled with food and housing and health insurance. We had trouble keeping the lights and the heat on. Though that was many years ago, it's still there in me. All of it. I remember being hungry and afraid and hopeless. I remember having dreams that seemed unlikely, foolish, and impossibly out of reach.

I told them about putting myself through school twice, about my mom, about the role of education in my life and the advantages it provided to me. I smiled and laughed and asked them about their kids and their daily lives. I listened to them talk about their frustrations and hopes. And all it took was time - that's all it cost it me.

Through that lunch, I realized that there is a lot I can offer in these tough times, a lot of people I can help to live happier, healthier, more successful lives. And it doesn't involve any kind of extraordinary act. All it takes is me sitting down with people who are down and out, and telling them about my life and how I made it better, how so many people helped me along the way.

It's really just a way to pay forward all the blessings I have been fortunate enough to encounter. The people who helped me (my mom, my teachers, guidance counselors, some of my bosses, friends, authors, speakers, and the list goes on) were angels, and without them I am certain that I would have failed. This current recession provides us with an incredible opportunity to give and participate. It gives us a chance to repay the kindnesses we've witnessed.

NY Business Strategies Examiner: The Idealist.org Handbook to Building a Better World

This week I had the pleasure to interview Russ Finkelstein, Associate Director of Action Without Borders / Idealist.org. Russ was the driving force behind a valuable resource just published by the Penguin Group. The Idealist.org Handbook to Building a Better World is a book for anyone who wants to make a positive impact in the world. Whether you have never volunteered before or are a seasoned nonprofit professional, this book is filled with advice and guidance on the world of philanthropy. With info on areas ranging from board service to volunteer groups to in-kind donations, this book is a must-have for anyone interested in getting involved in service.

For the full story, click here.

My Year of Hopefulness - All the ways you can serve

I am thrilled to see that MLK Day is being made into a holiday that celebrates and promotes service. (And it's shocking to me that all Americans do not have that day off - I hope that will change.) Seth Godin published a list of ways to give back that day, and every day for that matter, that covers a wide spectrum of time investment. By no means is it definitive - it gets the creative juices flowing. There a lot of ways to give and a lot of organizations who need the help. 

From Seth's list, I love the idea of creating a Wikipedia page for charities that we care about that may not be so well known. That's what I plan to do. I will also dig in and do some research on social entrepreneurship in the hopes that my transition to that field and to building my own business is not all that far away. I know that it's possible to do well and do good at the same time, with the same efforts, and I'm going to find a way to do that. 

My Year of Hopefulness - Is Anyone Listening?

Did you ever wonder if anyone, anywhere is listening to you? For the most part, we have no idea how or how much we effect other people unless they are close friends or family. And even then, the effects can go on delayed and unspoken. I promise you though that your actions and words, whether kind or harsh, generous or greedy, heart-felt or hollow, have an impact. 

Someone wrote to me today to share his recent experience. He had read my New Year's resolution to be more hopeful and generate more hope for others. I was worried about putting this message out into the world. Is it melodramatic? Is it just too precious? Is it even possible, necessary, worthwhile, or important? Just as this man was composing a message to me, he heard the news that US Airway Flight 1549. He sent me a message to say that he was inspired by my resolution to do something for those people being rescued from the plane. He grabbed a bunch of wool sweaters and headed down to the river to distribute them to passengers who had no coats and were standing in the freezing cold. 

This post is not meant at all to pat myself on the back for a job well done in the inspiration department. It's just meant to encourage you to put your message out there, no matter what others may think, no matter what you're worried that others may think. Your voice, your story, your actions could change someone's outlook. And if we're going to have any hope of building a better world, we need to start with changing people's outlook.   

Blog Action Day

It's arrived - Blog Action Day 2008 when thousands of bloggers band together to talk about a single issue. This year, the issue is poverty. I do a lot of community service and one of my favorite places to serve, literally and figuratively, is the University Soup Kitchen. 

Started in New York City by professors at NYU, the University Soup Kitchen is on the Lower East Side and serves a hot meal with dignity and grace to anyone and everyone who comes in the door. It is an incredible effort and facility run entirely by volunteers, every Saturday of the year. In addition, donated groceries are bagged up for guests to take with them as they leave. 

Anyone can volunteer. And everyone in NYC who has the means and desire to volunteer to help nourish and support people who are in such dire need, should spend a Saturday afternoon with the incredible volunteers at the University Soup Kitchen. It's easy work, a great place to meet and work alongside other young people, and most importantly, it means the world to the people who look forward to that meal all week.  

Find out more information and sign up:  http://www.streetproject.org/projectdisplay.php?pid=10

HelpOthers.org

People need a mission - something to keep them going when the going gets tough. For some it's work, for others it's family and friends. Could be a hobby or volunteer work. The folks at HelpOthers.org take pride in making a stranger's day a little bit easier and then asking those strangers to pay the favor forward to others.

A few months ago I signed up for their weekly email, Smile Newsletter, that records the antics of good samaritans across the globe. A story from this week's newsletter, below, made me laugh and reminded me that even when it comes to doing good deeds, it's helpful to be flexible. Enjoy!

"I went into a laundrymat today to leave money for someone to find to do their wash, so I had my coins and tape and was looking around for a spot to leave them when this distraught lady said, 'Oh you have tape! I really need some my top is cracked and won't stay on and I didn't know what I was going to do!' I'm not sure what was exactly wrong but I was happy to give her some tape and a smile. When I was walking away I heard her say, 'Thank you, God!' I went in for one reason but clearly there was another purpose in my being there, even if it was so simple as sharing a piece of tape. It definitely put a smile in my heart!" --RaeofSunshine